I didn't ask for this.
None of it.
Don't get me wrong...I'm thankful for it ALL but I never asked for any of it. The road of life has many twists and turns. I'm glad that it turned in the right direction. But I didn't ask for this.
Things have changed overnight. One day you go from being a regular Joe on the street to being somebody that the whole world knows. It happened fast. Maybe too fast. I can't be regular anymore. I don't know if I'll ever get used to this "fishbowl life". Who wants to live a life where ever move that they make is tracked? I'm constantly watched and talked about it. Do I like the attention? I do...sometimes. But I miss my privacy.
I don't trust women. When I meet women, I am on the defensive. I don't know if she wants me or if she wants what I can give her. Some just want sex. Others want to have your kid so that they can sit on their ass and live off you. Naw man. That's not me and that's not how I get down. I enjoy the company of women but I keep them from getting too close. I've never been good at long term relationships so maybe it's best that I stay that way. And kids are not going to happen right now. I have a hard enough time with my dog.
Most of the people that I meet have some type of agenda. They want something from you. It's usually money. I went from being dead broke to being a multi millionaire very fast. I've learned to tell people "no". Does that make me an asshole? I don't think so. I like to spend money but I'm trying to be smart about it. It seems like everybody has their hands in my pocket, though. My lawyers, agents, accountants, publicists...etc. I really feel like I was born to do what I do. God gave me these gifts to give to the world. I was put here to entertain. But I didn't know it'd be like this.
One day I want to...go to dinner without being photographed...go to the movies in the middle of the day...go to the club and sit in the VIP section without the stares from the haters...chill and not have my cell phone blowing up. One day I want to walk down the street and people not recognize me.
I didn't ask for any of it. I grow tired it. Most people would chop off their arm to be in my shoes. I never thought I'd have to give up ME for this. I'm thankful but I'm tired. Really tired.
The price of fame...
