I stumbled across this article in yesterday's paper. After reading it...I HAD to post it!
Sex every day? That was her gift to him
Author of '365 Nights' in Decatur on Thursday
By HELENA OLIVIERO
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
Thursday, September 04, 2008
Some women give their husbands clothes or gadgets for their birthday.
Charla Muller surprised her husband with a gift of sex -- every day for an entire year. "365 Nights" is now a book.
"Sex was one of those things that fell by the wayside. I was tired. We were busy. And it just sort of sneaks up on you," said Muller, who lives in Charlotte. "At the time, we were married eight years and had two young kids and I thought, 'What could I give him that would be highly memorable and not cost a lot and be something only I could give him?'"
Muller, 41, will talk about the experience and the memoir Thursday at Wordsmiths Books in Decatur.
The AJC caught up with her by phone and asked her three questions.
Q: What was your husband's response to the gift?
A: At first, he almost turned me down. He was saying "What about the passion and spontaneity?" And I said we have jobs and two young kids and busy lives. We don't have
any spontaneity any more.
Q: How did it impact your relationship?
A: It was the most transformative year of our marriage. Women know intellectually that it's an important part of marriage. But you need to make it a priority. We stopped watching TV. We planned for it and scheduled it. We learned to keep a dialogue going. And we learned about that daily kindness we needed to keep going to make it happen.
Q: Did you really do the deed every day?
A: We averaged 26 to 28 days a month. ... Intimacy every day is not a long-term sustainable model. But neither is intimacy hardly ever. So [these days] we've landed somewhere in between.
Your thoughts? Would you want sex EVERY day from your mate or spouse for a year. This should be interesting
Hollatchaboi!!
hell to the yeah. what kinda question is that kyle? I don't know bout ya'll married folks, but as for me, i want it, need it, gotstahaveit erry day. reason number 1,365 why i don't want kids...4real tho. and the man happily obliges. LMAO!
ReplyDeletei would do that FIRST bullshit, but you know how i feel about THAT! LOL!
This was an interesting article. I'm going to have to pick up this book. Thanks, man.
ReplyDeleteI don't know if every day is best for me... there are some days out of the month when it is better for me to be quarantined and not allowed to be around other people at all!
I don't have a mate...but if I did...nah, not every night. I mean at one point too much becomes really too much.
ReplyDeleteI can't lie. I'm down for it. Not only would Mr. P be surprised and delighted, but I'm sure to lose weight as a benefit of so much exercise.
ReplyDeleteAnd the truth is, that was one of his selling points when deciding to marry him. So why not get back to what we had those first few years before the kids arrived?
I'll check this book out.
Every Day...Wow..I can't say that that would be a bad thing...but it
ReplyDeletewould get to be kind of monotonous after awhile...unless of course we got real imaginative....(I'm sure I could-lolol) I would settle for four out of seven nights a week.
oh wow.
ReplyDeleteI'm not in a relationship ( fellas holla) but I really don't think neither of us could handle it, everyday shishh!
ReplyDeleteewww thats nasty...if they average 26 to 28 days than that means they did it while she was on her period....ewwwww
ReplyDeleteNot everyday for me. Maybe like 3 or 4 times a week...but everyday...can't do it.
I remember seeing these folx on the news and was like, "What the..." Granted everyone likes sex, some more than others, but every day for a year is just too much. The vagina would be beyond beat-up. Not good.
ReplyDeleteFYI...this article sparked a good debate between the fellas yesterday. For the record, as a married man...I don't want it 365. I think after a while we'd be "doin it just to do it." You'd lose the spark. I'm like Keith...3 or 4 days is cool with me.
ReplyDeleteOne of the fellas said...
"If I get it every night what is my Mistress gonna say? And
lord knows my Girlfriend and Jump off are gonna be lonely."
LMAO!!!
@ L
ReplyDeleteYou are firrrrrrst!!! LMAO!!!
365 might give you a kid! LOL! Fa real.
@ jaded santana
Quarantined? Lmao!!! U r crazy!
@ Darius
I agree, bruh
@ prettyparker
They say that it's a great way to lose weight! LOL
@ Keith
Spoken like a brother who's been married for a minute. *internet dap* I'm wit ya!
@ rayo
That's what I said after I read it!
@ Charece
LOL @ u tellin the fellas to holla at you!
@ dessex
Noooooo! Not the muddy water! Nasty!
@ B
Lmao @ u!!! Beyond beat up!!!! Omg! I'm rollin'
I saw them and another couple on the Today show a few weeks back. I could do it 365 days. I have a higher than normal drive but if you do it EVERY day my shyt might be damage goods. All that flippin and poundin....nope I'll pass. 3-5x/wk is cool! Although for the last couple of months it's been 0 times/wk....where is the rabbit? Geesh!
ReplyDeleteI read about that too and was amazed. If you can do it, more power to you, but having sex every day for a week was too much for me. Also, what do you do when you get mad? Have makeup sex, maybe? That won't work for me b/c I will get over being angry, but I still need more time and "make up" gifts (i.e. clothes, shoes, Tiffany's, something) to help me get over being mad...what can I say, I'm ultra sensitive. Maybe then I will give you some...maybe.
ReplyDeleteAlso, what about my hair? I would sweat my edges out...o' hell naw!!!
ReplyDeletehahaha...i probably would!!!!!
ReplyDeletebut dang...my stuff might get sore!!! (TMI)LOL
Hey Brother!
ReplyDeleteI was just asking a similar question this week....NO THANK YOU!!!....As much as I look forward to being married and having guiltess sex....I don't need it every single day. I KNOW I WILL make up for lost times once I say "I do" but I can't see it being 365 days after the wedding.......again I say NO THANK YOU!!!!
Hmmm, that would depend on a lot of things kyle.
ReplyDeleteOK, so, I'm a borderline Gemini which means I bore easily, right, so maybe not every night. I could settle for four or five times a week.
Then again, I am not currently in a relation-shit so I only have the "jump off" and I can't tolerate him more than a few days a week.
After I see him I immediately have to run to the lil' girl's room because he irritates the shit out of me. So, given my current situation, I'd have to say no. I couldn't do that everyday.
IF i had a man we would be having sex every damn day! not averaging 25-28 per month we wouldn't miss a day!!!!
ReplyDeletei'm excited just thinking about it, knowing damn well i'm lonely as sh!t! lol
365 days straight......LOL......I'd try if I could. But I must admit, if hubby is handling his bidsness as usual, I won't make it past the third day, I'd be sore as all get out.
ReplyDeleteI'd be willing to do seven straight days every month.
No, it's too much, nobody is in the mood EVERY day, sometimes you just want to chill. But improved frequency never hurt nobody.
ReplyDelete@ ShellyShell
ReplyDeleteRabbit? Noooooo! Why don't you call The Hammer?? LMAO!!!!!!!! I'm sorry, Shell...but you walked into that one.
fyi...it's an inside joke, y'all. here's who The Hammer is (http://thatgirlshell.blogspot.com/2008/07/hammer.html)
@ Beautifully.Conjured.Up
You make a great point. What happens when you have a fight and you aren't speaking anymore? Do you just have sex b/c you said that you would?
Somehow...someway...I knew that you'd be concerned about your hair. Lol
@ Flyyest
Um...I think he would, too!
@ Keisha the Kitten
I'm SURE that you will make up for lost time! Haaaaa
@ Smarty Jones
I hear you. You don't wanna be around the jump off that long. He's there for a purpose...jumping off!
@ Sexxy Luv
Every day? Woowwww! I wonder if -Q. is reading this? Haaaaa
@ laughing808
There ya go! You gotta start small. 7 straight days...I like that
@ Rich
Practice makes perfect. LOL
no thanx! ecery day is waaaaaaaay too much (for me). i don't have nor want the time, energy or whatev to pull that off. besides, that sounds like it lacks passion and i'll take fulfilling loving over frequent lovin ANY DAY!
ReplyDeleteLMBAO -- I don't need everyday--i think there's something special about anticipation and if I'm getting it every day--no suspense. But I like the determination here...
ReplyDeleteWow, just wow.
ReplyDelete-what about lubrication...had to be a must.
-didn't the putnanny get tired...he must don't hit it like a black man...just saying.
-was he on something...i mean????
-I need some spontaneity dammit!
-you gonna tell me after all that constant friction she never baked bread. Hell to the NAW!
-Okay, no more hate, i'm happy for them, but for me...me thinks not.
every day
ReplyDelete5 times a day
folk
i can get with that
I don't think it would be a bad thing but do I really want it nah.
ReplyDeleteI do feel her on the making it a priority especially when you have kids and careers its gets tossed to the back of your mind. And the next thing you know you have one more thing to talk about. So I appreciate this woman for putting it out there for other married couple to see.
im sorry but smooth cooch brown couldnt handle it 365 days out of the year!!!
ReplyDeleteHappy Friday!!!
watched this on tv yestersay, i had no idea that franki & wanda were even on a tv show.
ReplyDeletelol at the question.
@ PCD
ReplyDeleteI tend to agree with you. I think the intimacy and element of surprise is lost
@ TravelDiva
You gotta admire the determination
@ Miz
ohhhhhhh lawd! There you go talking bout how a black man hit it and a white man can't! haaaaaaaa! too funny
@ Torrance
five times a daY????
@ The F$%K it List
You're right. And she REALLY did put it out there. Haaaa
@ prettyblack
recoil and tighten LMAO!!!
SMH!!! You are crazy!!!
@ Dreamy
That's a funny name
@ Bombchell
I've seen Frank and Wanda's show. Maaaad corny. LOL
Every day that ends in 'y'....but I'm sure there'd be a day that we slipped up and missed out.
ReplyDeleteIt's good to cuddle every once in a while.
But I GOTS to have it!!!!!!
@ Sexxy Luv
ReplyDeleteHaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
It’s funny that the folks who have someone to have "guiltless sex" with know that everyday is not realistically going to happen and / or don’t want it to happen. I’m willing to bet that the folks that say sex everyday for a year is good don’t have anyone and were lonely and/or horny when they typed in their response. It’s like going to the grocery store when you’re hungry; you want to buy everything you like.
ReplyDeleteI am glad to see that the brothers are being realistic. There is a difference in sex everyday when you are 18years old compared to 30+ years old. At 18 any lubricated hole will do (vacuum cleaner hose, empty light socket, left or right hand (or both simultaneously)LMAO. But at 30 you should be more mature, more selective, more settled and maybe in a committed relationship. Having sex daily just for the sake of doing it makes sex loose some of its appeal because it is no longer spontaneous and you haven’t had anytime in between to build up any anticipation.
www.deliveringonthepromise.com/rcvmoore
sex 365, nah.
ReplyDeleteunless he looks, and sings like tank.
head, 365
yes.
-1-
i sure would need a whole lotta naps....lol
ReplyDelete@ Ieisha
ReplyDelete"Every day that ends in 'y'??? LMAO! I hear yah!
@ Ms Moore
Yeah. When I was 18 or 19...I'd welcome gettin some 365. Not at 35, tho. Haaaa
@ -1-
I don't think you'll find a man who'll go for giving head 365. LMAO! If you do, you better be quiet and don't tell nobody
@ Jackie
I would , too!
It's 2008 & there are STILL men who say "Ewww, yuck." to the menstrual dayz? wowwwww...
ReplyDeleteHmmm... 365?? I'm going to go with NO on that one. I would lose interest and my man would not appreciate this delicacy if he had access to it 365... A Taureans body must be treated like a temple and going through daily thrashing and tustling would not do...
ReplyDelete