Last week I got a phone call from one of my homies.
It was good to hear from my childhood friend. I hadn't talked to him in about 6 months. The last time that we spoke, he and his girlfriend had just move in together.
I asked him how things were going. He said the relationship was having issues. My boy is single, college educated, no kids, and has a great job. By society's definition, he's a "good catch".
He said..."Things are ok but there are times when I feel like we are just roommates. I didn't sign up for this. A relationship is supposed to be progressive. Sometimes i feel like we are spinning our wheels. It's mad frustrating."
I pressed him to be more specific.
He said..."She don't cook! It's rare that she cooks! I don't mind eating out but I can't do that shit EVERY DAY! I've talked to her about it and all she does is talk. No action. You feel me?"
I told him that I understood. I asked him "Are your hands broke? LOL. There's nothing wrong with YOU cooking. Because I work from home, it's easier for me to cook dinner and have it ready by the time everybody gets home. I can't say that I cook EVERY day but I cook several times a week. I grew up in a house where I saw my pops cook. So, I just assumed that it was something that I was supposed to do. I enjoy it."
He said..."Well, that's good for you man. I ain't going for all of that. I'm telling you man...they don't make em like our grandmothers or our moms. She don't do it like my momma."
He gotta step up then...put in some effort. And stop looking at women to be like their mammas and grandmas. Cause I'm sure someone's thinking that we're not like their fathers or grandfathers...
ReplyDeleteMAN LISTEN! If he wanted to live with his mama or grandma that's what he should have done. It's not fair to force women into these typical roles (or men for that matter). I do most of the cooking because I don't trust my husband in the kitchen. But he does all the other thing like get the kids in the tub, homework etc. Partnership is not some one sided experiment. If he's hungry get to the kitchen and make a meal for both of you!
ReplyDeleteHe has to do/be what he wants from her. Does she even know how to cook? They could start off cooking together to get things going then he'll cook, she'll cook and coupled cooks. But expecting her to be like his mama is whack!
ReplyDeleteBy the way... I think a cooking man is the ultimate in SEXY!! :)
Your friend and his mate should set expectations for each other. If that's what he wants and not what she is willing to give, then she might not be the one. Relationships are about compromise. If this is not a deal breaker, then he should do some cooking. Take the first step and let her know you are partners and you share in cooking, cleaning, etc. No one wants to be anyone's parent. Trust if she started acting like his momma and telling him what to do, he would rethink wanting his mate to be "like" his momma.
ReplyDeleteHe needs to pay attention to stuff like that. If she isn't cooking now, she's not going to magically start cooking after marriage. And WTF is up with a woman over 30 not being able to cook???
ReplyDeleteI understand men love their mom and rightfully so. What bothers me is the expectation of some men that "The One" should be just like their mom. Not happening over here! I am my own woman. LOL
ReplyDeleteRelationships are about compromise so if he wants her to cook maybe he should be more encouraging and understanding instead of just sitting on his tail expecting her to cook for him everyday. I'm not going to lie though, she gets the side-eye from me for being a grown ass woman who does not know how to cook. LOL
@ everybody
ReplyDeleteI think my boy is at the end of the rope. He's not looking for a woman to be LIKE his momma. He's just looking for her to play a certain role. And it's obvious that they have yet to discuss these roles.
As for his woman, she CAN cook...she just doesn't. He makes it sound as if she's lazy
I'm so glad you called him out on that and didnt buy into it. Get up and do it yourself! Lead by example and MAYBE she will get it. Or, she just may not be a cooker. Get used to it or get over it.
ReplyDelete