1on 1

Have you ever had a friend who was always hard to reach by phone?

Or a friend that you'd call but they'd hardly ever return your call?

Well...I've called this dude a couple of times and he FINALLY called me back. I'm sure that you remember the last conversation that we had.

Ladies and gentlemen...my one on one interview with President Barack Obama

(ringing phone)
ME: Hello.

Barack Obama: Sup, bruh

ME: Who is this?

BO: It's me!

ME: Me who?

BO: Barack!!! I'm returning your call!

ME: Ohhhh! Whussup, bruh. Whut's good fam? I called you a month ago and you're just returning my call?

BO: Well...in case you haven't noticed...I have been busy!

ME: (laughing) I know...I know. Thanks for calling me back. How have you been?

BO: I'm good, fam. I can't complain

ME: Ok. I know that your time is limited so I'll go ahead and get this interview started.

BO: Before we get started, you need to tell the people what happened 3 months ago when you were in Chicago.

ME: Awww man...do I have to? LOL

BO: If you don't...I will!!

ME: Ok...ok. Well, I was in Chicago. I was playing basketball at the gym. My team was playing against Barack's team. I was guarding him and he scored a couple of times. Big deal. haaaaa

BO: You should tell them that I hit the game winning 3 pointer over you!! And you had to call me President Three for the rest of the day. Haaaaa

ME: Aiiiiight bruh. We're gonna play again in DC in a few months. I'm gonna win! LOL. Ok...let's get on with the questions. Are you ready to take over and lead the free world?

BO: Yes. I'm ready. I've been destined to do this. The people have chosen me to lead and I won't let you down

ME: When did you know that you'd win? Was it election night?

BO: Honestly, I knew that I was gonna win once I beat Hilary! I knew that John McCain couldn't beat me. Period

ME: What did you think about Sarah Palin?

BO: Who?

ME: Palin

BO: See...you're tryna get me to playa hate on her! LOL. I've got nothing bad to say about Palin

ME: What are you pumping in your iPod right now?

BO: Eric B and Rakim's Paid in Full

ME: What's your favorite card game?

BO: UNO! I can't be beat at UNO!!! And I can't forget about Spades. Michelle and I will beat anybody in a game of Spades

ME: Are we gonna party hard for the inauguration?

BO: Fa sho! You betta believe it.

ME: I don't have anywhere to stay. Can I...

BO: C'mon, bruh! You know I got you!

ME: No doubt!!! Who's gonna win the Super Bowl?

BO: The New York Giants

ME: At the inauguration...when you walk out...can we at LEAST play the beat for Hi Haters?

BO: (laughing hysterically) I'll see what I can do

ME: Chicken or fish?

BO: BOTH!!!!!

ME: You know that my sons are the same age as your daughters. Can we let them date later in life?

BO: NOPE!

ME: How are you gonna cope without the Blackberry? I mean, you and I talk on Blackberry Messenger more than we talk on the phone

BO: *sigh* That's gonna be very difficult. As you know, the BlackBerry keeps me connected. I love talking to the fellas. Keeping up with the scores, etc. That's one thing that I don't like about this move into the White House

ME: Can you take care of the BCS in college football?

BO: You know that I'm gonna change that crap. I can't stand it. On a side note, I'm gonna pull the plug on BET, too!

ME: YESSSSSSSSS!!! Thanks bruh!!! Ok. One last question...when you sit in the Oval Office and stare out the window...what will you see

BO: I'll see ALASKA! (laughing hysterically)

ME: You are crazy, bruh. Thanks for calling, fam. I'll holla at you next week. Aight?

BO: Aight fam. Be easy

ME: One!!

BO: One!!