Thursday, February 28, 2013

needles & reefer

I had an appointment with my doctor yesterday.

Before I could see the doctor, I had to get my blood drawn by the nurse.

We engaged in small talk right before she was about to stick me with the needle. She noticed that I turned my head in the opposite direction from the needle.

"Are you scared of a needle, sir."

"No ma'am. Not scared at all."

"I was wondering why you turned your head away from the needle."

"It's something that I've always done. I never wanted to get used to the site of a needle going into my arm for ANYTHING. I could never be a junkie. Drugs have never been my thing."

"Well, not all drugs are bad. Take marijuana, for instance. It can be used for medical use."

I chuckled and rolled down the sleeve on my shirt. No need for me to engage in a conversation with her about marijuana. I know very little about it. I know what it's called...

purple haze (purp)
mary jane
brown sugar
sticky icky
Bob (short for Bob Marley)
left handed cigarette
and my personal favorite...reefer (i actually use this term)

I've never tried it. I don't pass judgment on those who have tried it or still use it. I just never saw the need to try it. Maybe I was scared that I might like it. No thanks...I'll pass. But I know very few people who have not at least TRIED reefer in their lifetime.

And judging from the way she sounded today, the 60 something year old, white nurse STILL enjoys having a puff or two of her own reefer.

Wednesday, February 27, 2013

kids are watching / 12 RADIO SHOW

Kids watch EVERYTHING that you do. 

Having my own kids, I know this already.

But I've come to realize that they are watching when you least expect it.

Just the other day my daughter, Skyler, snuck into my office at home. She's 17 months old and very active. I turned my back and before I knew it, she had the mouse from my computer in her hand. Not only did she have the mouse but she was clicking on icons on my desktop. My first reaction was to take it from her. But since she didn't see me standing behind her, I let her proceed to click away. I called her name...she turned...and flashed a smile that said "Daddy, I know what I'm doing...leave me alone!" All I could do was laugh. 

Good thing she doesn't see me doing anything crazy!

Programming note. Be sure to tune in to the 12 RADIO SHOW tonight at 9pm. 

TOPIC - College Dayz with ShellyShell. Tune in as we wax poetic about
some of the best time in a person's life...their college dayz. You
will be entertained! Don't miss it!!!



Tuesday, February 26, 2013

throw ya gunz in the air

"Throw ya gunz in the air!!! And buck-buck like ya just don't care!!!" - Onyx

I don't think I've ever heard more screams for gun control in my life. People want assault weapons banned. Some want ALL guns banned. The discussion about guns have divided this country more than ever. I have no problem with people wanting to own guns. It's your right.

"Like short sleeves, I bear arms." - Jay Z

People have been calling to get these high magazine assault weapons off the street for years. But the calls have become screams ever since that idiot decided to murder innocent 6 & 7 yr old kids in a school in Newtown, CT. Hearing that news bothered me. But that scene, is being played out on street corners all across this nation in cities like Chicago, Philly, Atlanta, LA, Detroit, and New Orleans. Over the last month, Chicago has as violent as the Gaza Strip. Many of those killed look JUST like me. And let's be real, if kids were getting killed like this in the suburbs...the National Guard would be called in. I'm not making it a black or white issue. Just calling it like I see it.

"AK-47 is the tool. Don't make me act a mutherf*%kin fool."- Ice Cube

If owned an AK, I'm using it to KILL somebody. I don't need an AK to hunt Bambi. I'm all for protecting yourself. And I'm ALL for protecting me and my family. Believe me, if I felt threatened, I would pull the trigger as easy as it is to breathe. But I don't need an AK-47 to protect me or my family. I respect anybody's desire to own one but they don't need one. A handgun? Sure. Shotgun? Cool. AK-47? Nah man. You don't need it. I can understand why people don't want the government to tell them what they can or can't own. But let's use some common sense.

"I never pulled my gun on nobody who didn't deserve it."- Omar from The Wire

I always find it comical to listen to these gun rights advocates and the clowns at the NRA. They want these guns but they have no idea. If you're in your big house in the hills, you are oblivious to how things are out here. Let me interview them. I'd ask...

"Have you ever heard bullets ring out and you had to hit the ground because you didn't know where they were coming from?"

"Have you ever been shot? Ever been shot at?" It ain't a good feeling

"Have you ever seen a bullet riddled body? Have you ever lost anybody in your family to gun violence?"

They don't understand. They never will

As soon as somebody can convince me why we SHOULD have these guns on the street, I'll go get me an arsenal like TI.

Monday, February 25, 2013

My Momma Don't Like You

Have you ever had to sit in front of someones parents as they asked you questions about yourself or the relationship that you have with their son or daughter?

Were you nervous? Did you leave a good impression on them?

Back in the day, I had no problem sitting in front of any of my girlfriends or homegirls parents. Nervous? Never. They all liked me. I don't think I tried to do or say anything special. I was just Kyle. And that's all that matters. I'm sure that they still like me. What's there NOT to like?

When I was dating my girlfriend in college (now my wife), I spoke to my future in-laws over the phone before I met them. They lived in Los Angeles at the time. I didn't meet them until I flew out there for Christmas in 1996. I remember my future mother-in-law greeting me at the airport with a huge bear hug and a kiss on the cheek. They liked me. Still do.

At some point, my kids will all sit in front of somebody's parents and they'll have to impress them. Long before that day comes, I will impart some wisdom on them.

1. Look people in the eye when you talk to them - this is very important. People won't believe you or what you have to say if you can't look them in their eyes

2. Keep good posture - never slump in your seat or bend over. Good posture is a non verbal factor that shows that you are confident

3. Make people comfortable - people are always comfortable when they talk about their favorite subject...THEMSELVES. Be inquisitive but maintain a dialog

4. Use good manners - self explanatory.

5. Be yourself - you can't be anybody else

I laugh when I think about Deion, Kameron, or Brandon talking to their date's parents. As for Skyler, I'll teach her these things too! Be a all times.

I would want people to say the same thing about them as people said about me..."that kid is a good kid...I like him/her."

Sunday, February 24, 2013

10 things I've learned about going to church

10 things I've LEARNED about going to Church

1. I actually look forward to going to church now more than I ever had

2. the lady who plays the tambourine is ALWAYS jammin

3. when you go to a big takes 20 minutes to get out of the parking lot

4. when you go to a small church...people will sometimes "park in your space"

5. over the years...dresses that women wear to church have gotten shorter

6. you always have to put at least $5 on the building fund

7. every choir has a few people who would rather sing LOUD and OFF KEY

8. every matter how big or small...has "assigned seats"

9. you should say AMEN before they ask "Can I get an AMEN?"

10. follow the words of the Bible...not the man delivering the words. be trusting but mindful that man (woman) are humans and we are prone to errors. trust God. Always.

Saturday, February 23, 2013

keep calm

I'm back

Well...if you read this blog you have probably figured this out by now.

Thanks to a blogger challenge by The F-It List, Original Glamazon, & Tyrone...and the desire to be creative...I'm back to blogging regularly.

I had told myself that I would come back but the challenge really pushed me. I had been blogging here and there. But I was primarily using the blog to promote the 12 Radio Show. Long before, twitter and facebook...this blog was my communication to the world. I read an old blog the other day and I realized that this is what I needed to get back to. There would be days that I'd write stuff and it'd just stay in my "Drafts". Or I'd have ideas/subjects that I'd want to talk about but they would never make it to the blog. Before you can go to the NEXT LEVEL, you have to return to the roots. And that's where I am.

I have a lot to say. Some posts will be deep. Some will be introspective. Some will be funny. Some will be long. Some will be short. I used to tell myself that I didn't have time. That's BS. I had time...I just spent it elsewhere. I have more people reading now than I have ever had before. But it's not about that. It's about making my posts be what they have always been...a journey with my self expression. That doesn't matter that I'm leaving twitter or facebook. Those are vehicles as well. But this is my BABY. And it's ok to let the world know that I ain't no joke and i'm a dope writer.

Because I am.

And I'm back.

Friday, February 22, 2013

did you page me?

I had a conversation with Deion yesterday. He's 13 and very wise beyond his age. But there are times that I forget about the world that he lives in.

"Dad, if I get all A's can I get an iPhone?"

"Yeah, but you've gotta get all A's."

"What if I get 1 B?"

"I'll get you a pager."

"Huh? What's a pager?"

It dawned on me that this kid had NO idea what a pager was. So I had to break down to him what a pager was. I explained to him how his dad rode around Atlanta with $10 in quarters in my car in the event that somebody paged me. I think I may have been the last guy in the world to get a cellphone. Deion was born in 1999. I don't think I got my first cellphone until 2000.

As I was explaining to him the process of getting a "beep" and then using a payphone to call someone back, I realized how far we have come in technology. Pagers were every thing back in the day. A pager on your hip was a fashion statement that people wore like an accessory. You had to make sure that you had some fresh batteries (i always used Duracell) because you didn't want to miss a page. Unlike cellphones, you couldn't charge a pager.

After my brief lesson in technology, I realized that he was more focused on getting an iPhone than getting a pager. I didn't tell him that pagers are pretty much extinct now. So in his's all A's or nothing. And that's the way that it should be.

Thursday, February 21, 2013

off tha dome

random thoughts...

i'm back to blogging again...all the time

my girlfriend is gone. long gone. i miss her

it doesn't matter where you went to school...we all went to school with the kid with the snotty nose. do you ever wonder what happened to that kid?

i was reading one of my old blogs the other day and thought to myself..."I kinda miss this dude."

president sounds bad and looks bad when it's written

i keep getting these emails from LinkedIn about people who have "endorsed" me. but they never say anything about people endorsing me a check

y'all still listen to lil wayne? why?

i have NO desire to eat one of these

dumbest thing that i heard last week..."why shouldn't they just shoot the meteor out of the sky?"

i hate when people send txt messages that read like this..."u kno we b kickin it on da ave sumtimes." the English language wasn't meant to be destroyed like that

i like facebook...for now

hey us all a favor...cancel the slam dunk contest.

personal happiness should not only be a goal but a destination

turkey bacon is ok. but it ain't bacon

ladies...what's with the mirror shots? aren't you a little too old for that?

fellas...if you are over 30 yrs of age, you are too old to be living with your mom

the Blade Runner is starting to look like the new OJ

i've never been on a cruise and i'm never getting on a cruise

i look forward to spring but not to the pollen

spring time on a college campus was always cool b/c the warm weather brought out the chicks who had been hiding all semester.

i popped Skyler's hand today for touching the stove. then she it me with the saddest little eyes. she made ME feel guilty for hitting her!!!

if your tv ain't on Scandal on Thursday night's...your tv ain't on

this just in...Kevin Hart is funny

ladies...if you're gonna wear the nice spring dresses...put lotion on your legs and feet

fellas...get credit in YOUR name...not hers...not your kids

Beyonce at the Super Bowl...unforgettable!! Alicia Keys at the NBA All Star game...terrrrrible

Wednesday, February 20, 2013


"Stay away from Chris. He's a faggot."

I can't remember how old the first time that I heard the word "faggot". I was 6 or 7...i think. I wasn't sure what or who a "faggot" was but I was assured that it wasn't something that you wanted to be. And I was sure to stay clear from Chris. That was the first time that I heard the word faggot but it wasn't the last.

I think I grew up like most kids in the 70s & 80s...homophobic. While I knew that I would never harm a man because he was gay, I didn't want to be around them either. Once the explosion of AIDS in the early 80s, homophobia ran rampant. During my freshman year at South Carolina State University, we were faced to deal with AIDS in a big way. On November 7, 1991, Magic Johnson announced that he would be retiring from the NBA because he had acquired HIV. I remember seeing dudes in the dorm crying because they thought Magic was gonna die. Some wondered..."was Magic gay?" My response was "does it matter if he got HIV from being gay or doing drugs? It shouldn't. You should be concerned about the man...not the disease." It was at that moment, I realized that my thought process had changed.

Three years later, I read a book that changed my views totally. The book was called Invisible Life by E. Lynn Harris. The book featured a story about a man who realized in college that he was gay and his inner struggle to come out of the closet. The more I read the book the more that I realized that these characters sought the same thing that I They wanted it from other men...I wanted it from women. There were parts of the book that were initially difficult to read (the love scenes) but that got easier with time. I learned from that book that people are people. We all like different things. I could care less what somebody does behind closed doors. Their personal choice doesn't define who they are. People are people. Gay...straight. It doesn't matter. 

Of course, not everybody feels this way. Just a few weeks ago, Chris Culliver, a member of the NFL's San Francisco 49ers made some homophobic comments while being interviewed on a radio show in the days leading up to the Super Bowl. Culliver was asked if he’s been approached by homosexuals.

“Nah, I don’t do the gay guys, man … I don’t do that,” said Culliver.

He was then asked if there were any homosexual players were on the 49ers.

“No, we don’t got no gay people on the team,” said Culliver. “They gotta get up out of here if they do.”

The radio host asked Culliver to reiterate his thoughts, to which the player said, “It’s true.” He added he wouldn’t welcome a gay teammate – no matter how talented.

“Can’t be with that sweet stuff,” continued Culliver. “Nah… can’t be… in the locker room man. Nah.”

He later apologized and will have to undergo sensitivity training as mandated by the San Francisco. 

He's delusional if he doesn't think that he doesn't have a gay teammate. The numbers suggest that there is. 

Maybe I should give him my copy of Invisible Life to him

And maybe some of you...

Tuesday, February 19, 2013


It's funny how life seems to always imitates sports.

Let's go back a few weeks ago to the Super Bowl. The whole world was watching. Not long after Beyonce's performance. Not long after the lights went out (literally). A particular play happened that was one of the game's defining moments.

Baltimore Ravens Quarterback, Joe Flacco, stepped to the line of scrimmage and was prepared to receive the ball from the center. It was fourth down and they needed one yard to get the first down to continue their momentum. It was clear that the Ravens were going to run the ball. Before the ball was snapped, Flacco called an AUDIBLE. In football, an AUDIBLE is an alternate play. He realized that the play that was called in the huddle would not work. Instead of running the ball, Flacco called an AUDIBLE that would alert his team that the play had been changed and that he would throw a pass. This was extremely risky. Throwing the ball is far more risky than running for a yard. Flacco calls the AUDIBLE. The ball is snapped. He floats a pass to his wide receiver, Anquan Boldin, who makes a great catch over the defender. It was a huge turning point in the game. The Ravens went on to win the game and become the Super Bowl Champs.

Life is just like football...or maybe football is just like life. Sometimes you have to call your own AUDIBLE. Sometimes you realize that what you're doing isn't working or won't work. Instead of trying something that won't work, you have to call an AUDIBLE and take a risk. Maybe it's time to AUDIBLE and get that new job or promotion because what you have now doesn't work? Maybe it's time to AUDIBLE to get that new man or woman? You can pray for him or her but until you change your strategy to get're not gonna be successful. Sometimes you need to AUDIBLE just so that you can have some type of personal growth in life. Much of what happens in sports is preparation but a lot is done on the fly. Things are constantly moving so you have to make decisions as you move. AUDIBLES in life are necessary. You make the call and live with the results. If it doesn't work, you try it again. But there's nothing worse than facing an obstacle and knowing that if you don't AUDIBLE to something else that it's not gonna work...and you don't make the necessary changes. Never be afraid to call an AUDIBLE.

Monday, February 18, 2013

not like my momma

Last week I got a phone call from one of my homies.

It was good to hear from my childhood friend. I hadn't talked to him in about 6 months. The last time that we spoke, he and his girlfriend had just move in together.

I asked him how things were going. He said the relationship was having issues. My boy is single, college educated, no kids, and has a great job. By society's definition, he's a "good catch".

He said..."Things are ok but there are times when I feel like we are just roommates. I didn't sign up for this. A relationship is supposed to be progressive. Sometimes i feel like we are spinning our wheels. It's mad frustrating."

I pressed him to be more specific.

He said..."She don't cook! It's rare that she cooks! I don't mind eating out but I can't do that shit EVERY DAY! I've talked to her about it and all she does is talk. No action. You feel me?"

I told him that I understood. I asked him "Are your hands broke? LOL. There's nothing wrong with YOU cooking. Because I work from home, it's easier for me to cook dinner and have it ready by the time everybody gets home. I can't say that I cook EVERY day but I cook several times a week. I grew up in a house where I saw my pops cook. So, I just assumed that it was something that I was supposed to do. I enjoy it."

He said..."Well, that's good for you man. I ain't going for all of that. I'm telling you man...they don't make em like our grandmothers or our moms. She don't do it like my momma."

Wednesday, February 13, 2013


Tune in to the 12 RADIO SHOW tonight at 9pm EST. The 12 RADIO SHOW is the most innovative and interactive show on BlogTalkRadio.


Tune in as we discuss the thoughts, ideas, wants, needs, goals, and desires of men. This show will be a follow up show to last week's show (What Women Want). Don't miss this show!!!

call in # (347)215-7162

show link


Rashan Jamal


Wednesday, February 6, 2013


Tune in to the 12 RADIO SHOW tonight at 9pm EST. The 12 RADIO SHOW is the most innovative and interactive shows on BlogTalk Radio. Be prepared to be entertained and enlightened by the host, 12kyle.

Tonight's Topic...WHAT WOMEN WANT

Tune in as we discuss the wants, needs, desires, goals, and issues with women. Co-hosted by Chris Renee and Chantay. You DON'T want to miss this show.

(347) 215-7162

Chris Renee


Saturday, February 2, 2013

Hey Coach!

"Hey Coach"

I never get tired of hearing those words.

I actually missed hearing them.

As many of you know, I have coached my son, Kameron, for the last 5 yrs. This past football season, our team (9 and under) finished off a great season. We had a season where we won 9 games and lost 2. We won our division and made it to our league championship game. Unfortunately, we didn't win the game. We lost to a team that we had beaten 22-0 a month earlier. On this day, we lost 20-8. To be honest, I had a hard time remembering the score of the game that day. I was too hurt to look at the scoreboard. We just didn't show up to play that day. We didn't play our game. And it cost us.

Losing that day hurt. I can't lie. As a coach, you hate to lose but you REALLY hate to lose to a team that you KNOW that you were better than. We just weren't better than them that day. And that's not to take anything from them. They beat us and i tip my hat to them. But I'm sure that THEY will tell you that we were the better team. Nevertheless, it hurt to walk off the field that day. I remember walking into our team circle and seeing all of the kids on our team crying. I looked for Kameron. He was in the middle of the circle. He was crying like a baby. I was blown away because Kameron is not emotional. He's very even keeled. Calm. Much like his father. Seeing him crying almost made ME cry!!! As passionate as I've always been about football, I've only had 2 games that brought me to tears. One in high school and one in college. On this day, I held back the tears...cleared my throat and spoke to the kids. I told them that I was proud of them. I said "Sometimes in life you work hard and still come up short. But that makes you work harder the NEXT time."

I remember walking off the field with Kameron and someone said "we'll be back next year." That's true...but it takes a lot to get back. The unfortunate thing about sports is that you can't pick up where you left off from the previous season. You have to start all over. We will start over. We will be back.

Last Saturday, we had our team banquet at Georgia Tech. This was our first time together for since that championship game. It was fun seeing the kids again. I missed those lil dudes. It was also good to see the coaching staff. We have a great staff. No egos. We enjoy coaching and we enjoy being around each other. During the season, we send emails and text msgs and have meetings daily about our team. The banquet was a lot of fun. It's always good to seeing little boys dressed up in suits. This collection of kids, coaches, and their parents is more than a team. We are a family. I look forward to the practices in 90 degree weather. I look forward to starting from square one. I look forward to see what Kameron does next year. This past season, he started at tight end and cornerback. He played well all year. He even surprised me with his ability to catch the ball (you know where he got that from). I look forward to being with my family.

I look forward to stepping on the practice field and hearing those 2 words...

Hey Coach!

Friday, February 1, 2013

press send

I have a question for you...

How many text messages do you send in a day?

How many personal emails do you send in day?

How many Facebook posts do you make in a day?

How many times do you comment on someones Facebook page or "LIKE" their status in day?

How many tweets do you send in a day?

If you stopped and calculated these numbers, you'd see that they are alot higher than you thought they would be. While you're in the process of sending these messages, do you ever stop and process the messages YOU are sending?

Have you ever 'vented' in a text, email or social media? Do you remember what you said?

The reason why I ask is that I don't think most people stop to think about the information that they are putting out into the atmosphere. And I see it daily. The Facebook rants. The twitter tirades. Most are riddled with nonsense with no thought behind it. Just venom. In this day of social media and all access, you have to be careful about the information that you put out there. Communication is not just about talking...its also about how the information is received. For example, what would you think if I posted the following on Facebook or Twitter or this blog...

"I'm so tired of this her and this bullshit."

You would assume that I am talking about my wife and you'd assume that there are problems in my house. I see this type of stuff every day. From the rants about people's personal life, the rants about baby momma/baby daddy issues, the Self Loathing that Dluvhall talked about the other day, and just the overall nonsense. Sometimes, i have to step back and ask myself "Did they read what they just wrote?" And with the popularity of sites like Instagram, some folks REALLY don't think twice about what they post. I'm very cautious about the pictures that I post...particularly of my kids because they are kids. At certain age, people won't see pictures them online anywhere. But that's just me. I won't even get into these public figures who say something in a tweet only to regret it later. Then comes the public apology or the claim that their account was "hacked"

While I can't tell anybody what to say in any text, email, tweet, or Facebook post...I will ask that you THINK before you press SEND

Once it's's said. Everything ain't meant for public consumption