rebound...every basketball fan is familiar with the term.
But I aint talkin hoops today.
I used to say..."If you date somebody for a year and then you break up, you should be single for a year." Now that theory can't be applied if you've been with somebody for 6 yrs...but you get my point. The thing that you're avoiding is jumping into another relationship too soon.
For example, if you date somebody for a year (seriously) but you break up...then you're in another relationship in 3 months...THAT'S a rebound relationship.
I'll be the first to admit that I did this...ONCE. I didn't get into another relationship b/c I wanted to have a girlfriend. I did it to get OVER a girlfriend. I wasn't a dog or anything. Just did it for the wrong reasons. She stepped to me and the rest was history.
Is it so there something in us that wants to be in relationships when we KNOW that we aint ready?
Have you ever been in a rebound relationship?
Thursday, April 30, 2009
Thursday, April 23, 2009
the time was 1993...
the scene was on the campus of my alma mater, South Carolina State University.
As many of you know, I met my wife when I was in college. Prior to meeting her, I was the typical guy who loved women. I had seen alotta things in my time at SC State when it came to sistas. However, I had one encounter that I'll never forget...
One day after practice, me and my boys, Moe and Russell stopped by the cafe to grab something to eat. As we were eating, I noticed a female who was staring at me from across the room. Our eyes connected. She smiled and looked away. A few minutes passed and I noticed that she was staring at me again. She smiled at me. So, I smiled at her. I didn't know who she was. In fact, prior to that day I had never seen her before. I told Moe and Russ that she was checkin' me out. She was very cute. I mean, she was an eye catcher (looked like Megan Goode). I waited for her to leave so I could see what her body looked like. As she walked past our table, I noticed that she had a nice body AND she was bowlegged. OMG! A young 12kyle was a sucka for women with pretty eyes and bowlegs. Anyway, I wanted to run up on her and talk to her but I played it cool. I knew I'd see her again...
I saw the Mystery Girl for the next few days at the same cafe...at the same time. She continued to stare and smile. Well, I had made up my mind that it was time for me to stop being cool and holla at her. Just as I was about to stroll over to her table I ran into an old female friend from freshman year. She proceeded to talk (without interruption) for the next 10 mins. By the time she finished, the Mystery Girl was gone. I was pissed. She had slipped through my fingers again. Or did she? Well, later that night, I received a phone call from my homegirl, Stacy. She called and said that her friend Kandi wants to meet me. She also said that "Kandi has been watching you in the cafe and she thinks that you're cute." TOUCHDOWN! Could it be that Stacy is friends with the Mystery Girl???? Before I got my hopes up I had to confirm it. I asked Stacy what was Kandi wearing that day. She replied..."a yellow shirt and jeans." I thought to myself..."YESSSSS! That's her. That's what she was wearing." I told Stacy to give Kandi my number and we'd talk. She did.
Kandi called me the next day. I was surprised at how cool she was. Within a few mins into the conversation, I realized that not only was she fine but she was smart (can't talk to dumb chicks). I was liking her even more now. We talked for 2 hrs that night. We complimented each other on our looks. She said that she didnt know if I had paid her any attention. I told her that I had never seen her around until recently. I was truly impressed. I learned that she was a big football fan, pre-med major, and a hip hop fan. That was right up my alley!!!
For the next week, Kandi and I would talk on the phone for at least an hour each night. I was really feeling her. Not only was she fine but she had a good head on her shoulders. One night while we were on the phone, I heard her humming a tune. I asked her if she could sing. She said "yes." So, I asked her to sing something for me. She sang the first verse of Anita Baker's "You Bring Me Joy." OMG!!! She sounded JUST like Anita Baker!!!! I'm thinkin' to myself..."she went from being a Mystery Girl to a fine, smart chick who can sing her face off." Young 12kyle was enjoying himself.
From the time that we exchanged numbers, we had not seen each other in the cafe anymore. The phone calls were great but she felt like we should sit down face-to-face. That was cool for me b/c I wanted to stare into thos pretty brown eyes any way. We agreed to meet for brunch on a Sunday morning. I was pumped up. Got dressed and threw on some Cool Water cologne (don't laugh...lol). I made it to the cafe before she did so I sat down and waited for her arrival.
I waited. And waited. And waited. I'm like..."where is this chick?" Finally, a chick sits directly in front of me. I looked at her and smiled...but it wasn't Kandi. I wanted to tell the chick that the seat was taken. But before I could open my mouth she said..."Hi Kyle. I'm Kandi. Nice to FINALLY talk to you in person and not over the phone." This chick wasn't Kandi. Well, she WAS but she wasn't. I mean, she was Kandi but she wasn't the same chick who I was droolin' over. It wasn't her. She didn't look good either...I mean...she was aiiight. But she didn't look like the Mystery Girl. Was this a case of mistaken identity? How the hell did this happen? This chick had on halter top that exposed her breasts. And she had hair on her chest!!!!! Ewwwwwwwwwwww!!!!
I was sooo disgusted. But I had to play it cool and act like I was still interested in talking. I played it off but that might have been the longest 45 mins of my life. I was shook. I don't know how this happened! Where was the chick who looked liked Megan with the big pretty eyes and the bow legs? We had a decent convo despite the fact that I was an emotional wreck inside. As I left the cafe, I told her that I'd call her later (I didnt but I did call her again) I was in a state of shock.
I was looking for the dime and somebody gave me a hairy nickel.
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
Neither is Queens, Bronx, Mahattan, or Staten Island.
New York is gone...gone from the landscape of hip hop.
When I say that New York is gone, I don't mean it literally. There are still some great MCs that rep the Big Apple. However, the landscape of rap in New York has changed. Can it make a comeback? I dunno.
If you're like me and grew up in the 80s/90s, then you saw some of the best MCs come from NYC. Quite frankly, back then most of the dudes from the South couldn't rap. Back in '88, you had MCs like Chuck D, Big Daddy Kane, Rakim, Kool G Rap, LL Cool J, etc. The South could only offer regional acts like 2 Live Crew. That's not a diss to Uncle Luke (love that dude) but the South had no voice. I grew up in South Carolina and New York MCs was where it was at.
As we moved into the early 90s, the balance of power shifted to the West. The Death Row era was in full swing with Dr. Dre, Snoop, Dogg Pound, Tupac, etc. There was also a movement brewing in the South with Master P (No Limit), Outkast, Goodie MoB, Geto Boys, UGK, etc. When it looked like New York would be lost in the shift, hip hop was gonna flow back through New York. The next wave brought the likes of NaS, Jay Z, Biggie, Wu-Tang, DMX (and the whole Ruff Ryder crew).
Some said New York MCs were back. Some said that they had never left. As we moved in to the early '00s, New York MCs have sorta drifted away. Or did they? If you look at hip hop right now, who's the lyrical MC that will carry the torch? Dudes like NaS, Jay Z, LL are all on the downsides of their careers. 50 Cent? I dunno how "lyrical" he is b/c he spends so much time starting childish beefs. A few years ago, magazines had pegged MCs like Jadakiss,Papoose, Joel Ortiz, Joe Budden (NJ), Saigon, etc to lead the movement of bringing back "the lyrical New York MC." But a combination of slow sales, bad record deals, and the influence of "bubble gum/microwave rap" has pushed NYC out of the limelight.
I don't think NYC is gone from hip hop. But NYC MCs used to run the playground. Nowadays, they hope to get a chance to get in the park.
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
1. Don't mess with another man's money...
2. Don't mess with another man's family...
3. Don't mess with another man's woman...
These are all unwritten man laws that we live by. Breaking one of these rules...in most cases...can get you cussed out, beat up, stabbed, shot at (or shot), and or killed.
There's another unwritten rule that we live by but it's unlike the others...
You can't make a ho your housewife.
It's subtle but to the point. We have always been taught to neva eva eva eva eva eva to fall in love with a freak. Now...I know what you're thinking...if a woman sleeps around a lot then she's considered a ho or a freak but if a man does the same thing...he's considered to be a stud. Is it a double standard???? Yes! Don't be mad at me, I didn't make the rules...I just follow em.
I arrived at these thoughts yesterday when I heard that Darius McCrary had secretly married Karrine Steffans over the weekend. Many of you remember Darius as Eddie Winslow on the hit tv series Family Matters. And you don't need me to tell you who Steffans is. Most men that I know...are familiar with her by her nickname..."Superhead". If you don't know who she is, look her up and you'll see that she has a reputation that preceeds her.
After hearing the news, my first thought was..."what a dummy!" I mean, not only did she have sex with hundreds of celebrites and wrote books about her exploits and how she made money off them...but there is a video of her "puttin in work." LOL. You just don't do that in my opinion. She's just downright nasty. Rick James said it best when he said you can't have a superfreak "because you can't take her home to your momma." That is soooo true. Picture McCrary introducing her to his momz. "Hey mom...I'd like you to meet my woman, Superhead."
Anyway, it got me thinking...how much is too much. I mean, I don't think any of us married folk were virgins before we got married. And I KNOW the single people who read this blog all the time are not virgins. LMAO!!! As men, it's an issue that we think about when we're trying to get close to you. We want you to be wild and do all the stuff that we like...buuuuuuuuuuuut...we don't want no freaks! Well, we want you to be a freak but you gotta be our personal freak! You can't give it up to everybody. When the questions arise about previous sex partners, we never get the real answer...male or female. We all lie. I know you've lied about it because you're probably laughing as you read this. haaaaa. In the day of AIDS and HIV, we should be asking these questions but I know what time it is.
"If you ask a woman how many sexual partners she's had, she'll tell you how many boyfriends she's had. She's aint gonna count the random dudes that she gave it up too!"- Chris Rock
For the record...most men know how many men their woman has slept with despite what they say. We have a way of knowing. I would tell you how but I'd be breaking a man law.
Since we're all freaks to some degree...we want somebody just as freaky as us...but we don't want a stone cold freak! I mean, nobody wants to have a man/woman that the world thinks is a ho or a slut (male or female). So here's the questions...
Would you be honest with your man if you had a track record like Superhead or if you had more sexual partners than you think you should have had in your life time?
Could you be with a chick who the world thought was the biggest ho in town? Could you marry a chick like Superhead? If so, why?
Monday, April 13, 2009
I think there are some distinct differences between men and women.
There are some similarities, too.
All women talk...
All men talk...
Most women talk too much...
Some men talk too much...
Most women will kiss (sex) and tell...
All men will kiss (sex) and tell...
Most men are clever...
All women are clever...
All women have a sense of sophistication...
Some men are corny...
All women are emotional...
Most men aren't emotional enough. Others are too emotional about the wrong things!
Most women want to be mentally stimulated by her man...
Few men want to be mentally stimulated by their woman...
All men want to be loved...
All women want to be loved...
Most women know that they have the power...
Most men think they have the power when they really have none...
Some women are slick...
Most men are slick...
Some men are faithful...
Most women are faithful...
All women love hard...
Most men love hard...
All men are too smart for their own good...
Some women aren't smart enough...
Some women start trouble...
Some men look for trouble...
Some women might be pissed off while reading this...
A few men might be pissed off while reading this...but they know I don't care. haaaaa
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
Ever smell someone who smells like they FELL in the bottle of cologne/perfume?
President Obama picked the North Carolina Tar Heels to win the NCAA Tournament. Maybe he knows what he's talkin bout? Lol
Water should NOT smell
Ever noticed people who would rather squint their eyes than to go get their classes?
The Masters start this week. They may need to start calling it the Tiger Invitational
They say that you learn more in the first 6 yrs of your life than you learn for the rest of your life
Does that mean that my son Kameron (age 6) is smarter than me right now?
Who was the "genius" who decided to cast a movie with Beyonce Carter and Idris Alba? Not only do they star in the movie but their marriage is challenged by a stalker/fatal attraction white lady. Blah. I'll pass on this one...
Do people really spend $200 for some Air Jordans?
Maybe I have a sick sense of humor but I find some things very funny.
If you have "bad sex" with a man/woman the first time that you get with em...do they get a 2nd chance to redeem themselves?
Baked fish or baked chicken?
Family Guy or Simpsons?
Now...y'all know how I feel about being ashy in public! I snapped these dogs when I was in Minneapolis last week. Who wears flops on 40 degree day. Please pass the lotion, grease, or WD-40
Monday, April 6, 2009
Enjoy the mixtape!
Three Times Dope
Souls of Mischief
From 93 Til Infinity
Just a Friend
A Tribe Called Quest
We've Got the Jazz/Buggin Out
Bonus Party Track...
Fat Man Scoop
Put Ya Hands Up
Thursday, April 2, 2009
If you do lunch or dinner with co-workers...the objective is NOT to talk about work! Let's leave work...at work!
The G20 is going on right now and they didn't invite me.
NBA playoffs are right 'round da corner!
I wonder if President Obama is gonna bring the light skinned bruthas back?
*looking in the mirror at this handsome chocolate face...realizing that it's gonna take more than Obama to bring y'all back* LMAO
Speaking of President Obama, I've noticed that even in these tough times...when he's faced with some tough questions...he'll crack a smile! That shows me that he's confident about what he's doing. That is very comforting to people.
I have YET to hear a woman say anything negative about Michelle Obama. She is a phenomenal woman
Trick Daddy announced to the world that he has the life-threatening disease, lupus. Good luck, Trick. We know that you love the kids.
Wonder what happened to the other dudes in Leaders of the New School? After Busta Rhymes' verse on Scenario...you knew he'd leave the group
Looks like we've all been bloggin' very sporadically. It's ok. Don't worry. Blog when you get the urge to say something.
Remember Chic-O-Sticks? I want one
For those of you read this blog but don't comment...make sure that you check out some of these other bloggers in my blog crew. They are all some dope writers.
Everbody keeps asking me so I'll answer it for the 30th time...yes...there ARE black people in Minnesota. LoL
Ladies...if a man is coming to pick you up, BE READY to leave when he gets there!
Men...don't be afraid to tell a woman how you feel. You never know love until you allow yourself to know love
I'm always amazed at how college coaches can jump from school to school and nobody says anything but the athletes can't do that!
Speaking of college sports, be leery when you hear folks use the term "student-athlete"...there's no such thing
Colored eye contacts...is not a good look
Do you go to sleep on a flight? I don't
Tamala Jones...Tamala Jones...Tamala Jones...
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
Life has a funny way of repeating itself.
After telling my 2 year old son, Brandon, for the third time to back away from the tv...I realized something...
I have become MY father. I mean, I sound just like him. Brandon isn't my first child. I've been a father for 9 yrs. My oldest son, Deion, is nine and my middle son, Kameron, is 6. But right now...I am my father. I have developed into his ideas on parenting and the world. This is not a bad thing. My father is more than a father...he's one of my best friends. He had the biggest influence on me and my brother growing up.
I always said that if I could become half the parent that my parents were then I would have accomplished a lot.
What about you? For those of you who are parents...are you like your parents? How?
For those of you who aren't parents...do you think you'd develop the ideologies of your parents? Why...why not?
The apple don't fall far from the tree.