ask yourself

Ask yourself these questions at least once a year:

1. Am I achieving my objectives?

2. Have my career objectives changed?

3. Am I doing what I’m good at and what I enjoy?


Personally, I don't make resolutions. I don't knock those who do. As we turn the page on a new year, I just try to focus on being a better person. Better than I was the day before. If I do that, then I'll be a better father, husband, son, brother, friend, homie, etc. I think it's important that you ask yourself questions.

Ask repeatedly if you have to!

Why should you ask yourself?

You can lie to the world but you're less likely to lie to yourself.

May 2010 be a blessed, safe, and healthy year for you.

best hip hop group?

Group- any collection or assemblage of persons or things

That is the definition of a group...according to the dictionary.

As we celebrate hip hop week, I am reminded that we've seen our share of great groups. I have always had a great deal of respect for hip hop duos/groups. They have helped mold and shape the hip hop culture. You gotta respect those dudes even more. I imagine that it's hard to stand out as an MC when you're in a group. Sometimes your skills can be overlooked when you're in a group.

Over the years, we've seen some great groups...

Run DMC
EPMD


NWA
OUTKAST

WU TANG CLAN

DE LA SOUL

A TRIBE CALLED QUEST


Just to name a few!

But if I had to pick ONE group as the best of all time...I'd say Public Enemy!

And that's hard to say because the groups that I just mentioned are great groups. But when I measure their impact on the culture, lyrics, and album content. I gotta say PE.

What about you?

Who is the best hip hop group of all time?

(And you can only pick one!!!!)

can i flow???

I'm a fan of hip hop

And I know you're a fan of hip hop

And in every fan...there is an emcee! An emcee that's dying to be unleashed!

Have you ever stood in front of a mirror and lip synced the words to your favorite hip hop song? Have you ever put on an instrumental track and tried to freestyle? If the answer is yes, then you're a true fan. If the answer is no, then you a probably lying. LoL

One track that immediately comes to mind is Brooklyn's Finest by Jay Z featuring Biggie. Those are two of my favorite MCs. I would chop my arm off to get on that song to rock with Big and Jay.

What about you?

What song(s) would you love to rap on featuring your favorite MCs?

gimmedatbeat

Dope beats...dope rhymes...what more do y'all want?

A young LL Cool J told you that he needed a beat

Don't we all?

When it comes to hip hop, most people hear the beat long before they hear the song. That's natural. Hip hop beats are so distinctive. They run through you. They move you. They make you move. Some of the songs with the dopest beats often intrigue me. I wonder if the lyrics came before the beats. Or if the beats inspired the lyrics.

When I think of some of the best beat makers in hip hop...a few names come to mind...

Jay Dilla (RIP)

Dr. Dre

Timbaland

DJ Premier

Neptunes

Just to name a few.

When I hear a beat like the beat from Biggie's song Dead Wrong...my head starts knocking. But that's just one beat.

What about you? What beat moves you?

Who are some of your favorite hip hop producers?

ladieezfirst

It's hip hop week...again

Time to celebrate a passion of mine.

And I have to start with the ladies...


It goes without saying that women have played a HUGE role in hip hop. From the onset of the genre, women were very influential in molding the art form. If you ask any male pioneer in hip hop, he'll tell you that one of the reasons that he picked up a mic was to impress a woman.

Much like those before me, I've always appreciated a woman who was into hip hop. Especially one who was knowledgeable about it. Over a period of time, we've seen some great women in hip hop.

From the early days of Roxanne Shante'...Salt N Pepa...Queen Latifah...MC Lyte...to the likes of Lauryn Hill...Lil Kim...Foxy Brown we've seen some great women influence the hip hop culture. They have helped changed the way that men view them and how the world viewed young black women. Over a period of time, things changed. The images of female MCs like MC Lyte and Queen Latifah gave way to a new generation. During this time...more than any other time...women in hip hop became the focal point of a man's desire. At that time, their male counterparts were lacing their songs with lyrics calling women "bitches and hoes". But the game really changed when females started to perpetuate those images in their songs and videos.

Then came the age of the video vixen. There was time in hip hop when the music video was a direct correlation to the song. In the age of the video vixen, that concept went out of the window. It seems like every video has some scantly clad woman jumping around. Don't get me wrong, I like looking at a beautiful women as much as the next guy but when you see the same "formula" for every video...it gets redundant. As we've gotten older and we make an attempt to introduce our children to hip hop, it gets harder when you see that it bares little resemblance to what you fell in love with.

So, where do we go?

Where are women in hip hop? What is their role? One of the biggest female influences in hip hop is Debra Lee, who is the VP of the train wreck called BET.

What is the state for the women in hip hop?

birthdayboyz

There aren't many things that are certain in life.

For me, one thing is certain At 12:00am on December 9th, my cellphone will ring.

It'll be my mom calling me to wish me a happy birthday!

It never fails. She knows that I never liked for people to make a big fuss about my birthday. She told me.

"Boy, we're gonna celebrate every year. That's what you are supposed to do. I don't care if you don't want nothing. You'll at least get a cake and a card."

And she never disappointed me. She knows that's all I've ever wanted. A cake and a card. So, every year she sends me a card. The card always contains a dollar. Why? Not sure. But that's my mom and I love her to death.

I would be remiss if I didn't mention the best birthday gift that I ever received. It was December 10th, 2006. My right hand man...the man who runs my house...the man who I haven't been able to win a stare-down with...the life of the party...the youngest in charge...Brandon! Look how you've grown over the years. Daddy loves you, man.

.
I wanna thank all of you...my family, crew, friends, fellow bloggers, twitter fam, and fans (LOL) for the birthday wishes. I really appreciate the love. I'm 37 years old. I look good. I feel good (like James Brown). And I'm blessed to see another year.

12 on Tiger

Errybody and their momma has given their 2cents on Tiger Woods

Did you think that I wasn't gonna do it, too?

If you think that I'm gonna use this post to blast Eldrick Woods...I'm not. I'm gonna offer a different perspective. Peep the following excerpt that sheds some light on the situation.

words by Bill Tisdale (www.HitBooks.com)

My observations about Tiger Woods is the subject of my book, "Walking With A Tiger." I wrote the book years ago and preached a sermon series about my son and I attending one of Tiger's tournaments. He's in a bit of a pickle now to put it mildly. What do I think now?

Tiger did a low down despicable thing. I think the same thing that I said a few years ago in the issue, "So What About Jesse?" That issue was about Jesse Jackson and Bill Clinton, but it also could have been about David, Solomon, Samson and tons of other leaders, pastors, priests and public figures. As a pious pastor I should only say, "How dare Tiger to do such a low down despicable thing!" Many write in prayer requests when their spouse has been unfaithful, "What was he or she thinking?"I have a good idea what he was thinking. I would like to be pious, self-righteous and perfect sounding but I can't. I can't because if I am perfectly honest with myself, I'm not sure if I could hold up under star pressure. I'm really not sure. You ask, "What do you mean you're not sure that you could hold up? You're a pastor! Of course you could hold up!"As Joan Rivers used to say, "Can we talk?"

These are Tiger's circumstances:

1. He is an Alpha Male. This is a man used to winning. He has a passion and drive to win. He practices unceasingly. He is a. They are us perfectionist at his game. At his best he is undefeatable. He is the best at his sport in the history of the game. He is the epitome of the alpha male.Alpha males are biologically driven by testosterone, the male hormone. The SAME hormone that's usually responsible for aggressive drive to dominate and win is the SAME hormone that's responsible for "guess what?" Yes, that too. I've counseled with a lot of couples, and I see the hormone at work. Men who are highly driven are usually highly driven in all areasually the ones whose wives complain their husbands had an extra-marital affair. They rarely complain of the men's lack of interest in amorous activities.Men who are rarely tempted don't seem to be as highly testosterone loaded. When sitting across from their wives, the wife is likely to complain about her husband's lack of interest and/or performance in "that" area. Is this an over simplification? Sure, but the general principle is what I've observed. So Tiger is an alpha male. That's pretty obvious.

2. He has more willing beautiful women presented to him in one day than most men will have available to them in a lifetime. Women, let me ask you a question. Who is the world's most handsome and enticing man? Now imagine a different one just like him after you every day. That's what Tiger faces.

3. He's the first billionaire athlete. A billion dollars can do wonders for your looks, but Tiger is a good looking man without the billion. So couple a billion dollars, world fame and good looks and you've got a proverbial super chick magnet. As a matter of fact, a million or two will line them up and a billion is a thousand million.

4. He's in awesome physical shape. I occasionally play golf. It's not my favorite sport because it's too passive for me, but walking 18 holes and doing all that swinging is a reasonably good workout. Do it every day plus hit a few hundred practice balls on the range and it keeps you in excellent shape. Better shape equals more testosterone. More testosterone equals...

5. He's young. Enough said.

6. He's away from home a lot. His work causes him to travel a lot. That means sleeping in a lot of hotels (alone if he's strong) all over the world. The isolation from your wife (and that assumes that the relationship is good and that you really miss being away from your wife) in strange lonely places can do things to a man. If you say "Not so," then you aren't speaking from an honest man's perspective with a good drive (I'm not talking about a good golf drive either). People think that Tiger's greatest battle is his PR image and the wrangle with his wife. I don't think so. I think his greatest battle will be with himself and the tons of women who will now throw themselves at him even more.

7. His greatest battle will be to not do the same thing again. None of the above mentioned factors will change but two new ones are added.

a) The women now know that Tiger is vulnerable and that he makes errors in that area. Like sharks smelling blood, they will be drawn more and circle even tighter.

b) Affairs often bring an increased coldness into the marriage. When a wife has been hurt seriously, her heart freezes and it takes a long time (if ever) for it to thaw. Hurt and the fear of repeat may keep her heart cold. So Tiger has two intensified problems. The forbidden women will be hotter, more forward and willing, and his wife has the probability of being colder. That combo is not good. It is not good at all. So Tiger's internal battle with the same thing will likely be harder and any line once crossed is much easier to cross again. Am I a weak man? No. Have I ever cheated on my wife? No. Have I ever been seriously tempted? That's another book. If I were in Tiger's shoes past and present, how would I do? God only knows about me...but perhaps you would be much stronger in those circumstances. In super extraordinary circumstances, it takes supernatural Divine power to sustain you.

The strength of an ordinary man is not enough.

Even the strength of a tiger is not enough.

Note: Two out of three married men and half of married women commit adultery at some point in their marriage. Those are the non-celebrity, non-billionaire stats.

street cred

"My money is funny. And my credit...won't get it." - Martin Lawrence on an episode of Martin

That sentiment can apply to a TON of people in this country.

The big C

Credit...good or bad

As someone who has spent the last 10yrs in the mortgage industry (7 as an underwriter), I'd like to think that I know a little about credit. I do. I look at it every day! I've seen some horrible credit reports. I've seen it all. Fortunately, I'm looking at great credit reports now because bad credit doesn't exist.

Or does it?

Of course it does.

So, what is credit? What is good credit? Great credit is when your credit score falls between 700 and 850. When I talk about credit, people always ask me..."Kyle, how does credit work and how do I get my scores up?" Credit scores are merely a statistical analysis of a person's credit files, to represent the creditworthiness of that person. A credit score is primarily based on credit report information, typically sourced from credit bureaus. You get your scores up by making payments on time on the debts that you owe (house, car, credit card, student loans, etc).

We're in a recession. Unemployment is at an all time high. Foreclosures are weakening an already unstable housing market. People are having to make tough decisions. Do I pay this mortgage or do I eat? Do I pay this student loan bill or do I pay my rent? Do I pay this car note or should I resort to riding public transportation? Lending institutions have tightened credit guidelines. Years ago, almost anyone could get a house or a car no matter their credit. And that's partly why we are where we are. We're in a hole and we're not getting out anytime soon. I think, at some point in time, lending institutions have to get the credit flow going again. It has to be monitored and regulated, though. It wasn't before.

I've always said that I wish that every report that I read had come with an explanation. There's a story behind each situation. I think that 95% of people want to pay their debts. I know I do. I think there are some circumstances that sometimes prevent that from happening. If you go through a divorce, you're credit is prolly gonna take a hit. What if you have to take care of an ill family member? Somethings gotta give. More often than not, it's a bill or an expense. The only advice that I can give you is this...

* get your credit pulled as LITTLE as possible

* be smart with credit cards and your credit limits

* if you can't pay a debt on time, notify the lending institution. they may be able to offer some other solutions for you.

hollatchaboi!

lemmegivusumadvice

Love Jones

One of my favorite movies of all time.

I watched it the other day for the 2000th time (i guess)

One of the most important scenes in the movie was when Nina decided to take the advice of her best friend, Josie.

(for those who haven't seen the movie...I'll break it down for you).

Nina was beginning a synergetic relationship with Darius. She gets approached by her ex-fiancee who invites her to leave Chicago and move in with him in New York City. She is confused. Should she stay and build on what she has with Darius? Should she move to NYC to see what has left with her ex. While neither she nor Darius would classify their involvement as a relationship, they both knew that they had something special. However, they both described it as "just kickin' it."

Faced with a crucial decision...Nina seeks the advice of her best friend, Josie. Josie is single. Nina has a man. Therein lies the problem...

Why would you seek the advice of somebody who wasn't riding in the same boat that you were in? That doesn't make a lot of sense to me. Don't get me wrong. As a friend, they are there for you no matter what. But could she really speak to the situation with a clear understanding because she was not in a relationship?

For example, I'm married. I have friends who are both married and single. In fact, some of my boys are single. As a married man...could I ask JFresh or Clark a question about marriage when they've never been married? Both dudes are very cerebral and could give me a great deal of insight on how a female may think or act. But would I really seek their advice on marriage???

Which brings me back to Love Jones.

Don't you think you should seek advice about your relationship(s) with friends who aren't in a relationship?

Have you ever gotten bad advice from a friend?

hollatchaboi!

thankful

I don’t know about you…but Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday.

It always has been.

In my opinion, it’s the best holiday.

What could be better than getting together with family around a big meal and giving thanks?

I’ve always used this holiday to take a moment for personal reflection. I use it to reflect on life. I also use it to remember how blessed I truly am. I think sometimes as we go through our lives we tend to forget the little things that have gotten us where we are. The things that have helped mold us into who we are. So today, I’ll do that…

I’m thankful for – an opportunity at life. Each day is a blessing and I get another chance to make it better.

Thankful for – Deion, Kameron, and Brandon. They are three of the best gifts that any man could have

Thankful for – my wife. She stole my heart years ago. She has been everything. She has helped make me a better man

Thankful for- Mom and Dad. They are my role models. I strive to be the parents that they have been.

Thankful for- Damon and Cara. They are the best . I’ve tried my best to be the best big brother that I could for them. I think I’ve done that.

Thankful for – My family. Eham, Mike, Aja, Tammy, and the rest of my cousins. I could name em all but I’d forget somebody. LOL. There’s nuffin like family. My aunts and uncles. They have all been like parents. I feel fortunate to still have them around. (RIP Uncle Sonny…We miss you)

Thankful for- The Crew. There is no stronger bond than a man and his crew. Not many people can say that they’ve been running with the same group of fellaz since elementary school and middle school. The bond shall never be broken

Thankful for- Wilson High School and South Carolina State University. You molded this boy into a man. I will forever than you.

Thankful for- da Boyz from SC State. We did more than just played football for our school. We shed blood, sweat, and tears together. We formed a brother hood tighter than any fraternity. If you cut us, we all bleed Garnet and Blue

Thankful for- Florence, South Carolina. I love my hometown.

Thankful for- My close friends. You’ve always been there. Ride or die.

Thankful for- wisdom, knowledge, and understanding

Thankful for- employment. The job doesn’t make any man but I like mine. And in this day and time, it’s good to be employed

Thankful for- hip hop. Nuff said

Thankful for – love

Thankful for- football. I love it. And it loves me

Thankful for- Norwood Lane/Spaulding Heights. Best neighborhood to grow up in.

Thankful for- the Internet

Thankful for- The 12th Planet. I’ve been doing this blog for 2 yrs. Thank you for reading. Thank you to the friends who I’ve made through this medium. Thank you for those who comment. Thank you for those who never comment but read it.

Thankful for- Bloggers. Y’all are like family. Like my cuzzins who I’ve never met

Thankful for- good food

Thankful for – mixed drinks

Thankful for- Central Dekalb Jaguars (Gold) 6 and under- I love those kids. It was a pleasure coaching that football team.

Thankful for- Wilson High Class of 1991. We’re gonna make it happen. Believe that!

Thankful for – clean air

Thankful for – a beautiful house and cars that will get me around. Material possessions come and go so I don’t put much stock in them. Nevertheless, I am still thankful.

Thankful for- Atlanta, Ga. My adopted hometown. Forever I love Atlanta

Thanful for- Orangeburg, SC. Home of SC State. O’burg made me a man. It also made me appreciate air conditioning.

Thankful for- the ability to reason. It is one of the things that help separate humans from all other animals.

Thankful for- clean water

Thankful for- GOD. It is HIM who awakes me and allows me to be who I am. It is HIM who protects me. It is HIM who is good to me every day of my life. And for that…I am eternally grateful.

teach and learn

When it comes to school, I don't play.

I demand that my sons do well in school.

Mediocrity is not an option.

A few weeks ago, my oldest son, Deion came home with a "C". He's 10yrs old and is in the 5th grade. He's an A student. So, I was NOT happy to see a "C" on his progress report. I realized that he had gotten a C because he had 3 homework assignments that he did not turn in. The strange thing is that he DID the homework. He just didn't turn it in!!!

Huh?

That left me scratching my head. How can you do it but not turn it in?

I happened to be out of town when my wife called me and told me about the grade. I was furious. I told her to put Deion on the phone. My wife tried to tell me to take it easy on him but I wasn't trying to hear her. When Deion got on the phone, I went off! I didn't curse (my sons have never heard me curse) but I let him have it. When he tried to explain, I told him that I didn't want to hear it and I didn't want to talk to him.

Should I have said that? Probably not.

My wife called me the next day and she said that after we got off the phone he cried as if he had gotten the worst spanking in the world. He was hollering! She said that he woke up the next morning and he was crying uncontrollably. She tried to cheer him up but he wouldn't snap out of it. He was hurt. I had no idea. After she told me what happened, I knew that I had to say something. I asked her to give him the phone. She tried but he didn't want to talk. What? He doesn't want to talk?

I told my wife to put the phone in his hand and to FORCE him to talk if she had to. After a few moments, he finally took the phone from her. I began the conversation by apologizing. Apparently, when I told him that I didn't want to talk to him...he thought that meant that his Dad didn't like him anymore...didn't love him like I love his 2 younger brothers.

I quickly reminded him that I DID love him. I reminded him that he was still my "main man". However, I was disappointed in what he had done. There was no excuse for not turning in his work. I reminded him of the many hours that he spends doing his homework and he should have turned the work in as soon as he walked in class. I reminded him that I needed him to be the leader for his brothers. You can't lead if you aren't doing the right things. He said he understood. I told him that I loved him and he said "I love you too, Daddy."

Lesson learned...sometimes words can hit harder than a fist. Always be mindful of what you say and how you say it.

Always remember that kids don't come with instructions. Parenting is a constant work in progress.

Even when you come down on a child, you should always end the conversation with a positive thought or a word of encouragement. It's usually the last thing that they hear...


Holla!!





Also check out a post that I wrote on Sista Sports...http://bit.ly/5PiM7L

off tha dome

random thoughts...

Open toed shoes in the winter time? why?

I wasn't surprised that Bill Beli-cheat went for it on 4th and 2. That's what he does.

I'm convinced that some folks really talk...just to hear themselves talk.

Sarah Pale-lynn was on Oprah? *yawn*.

soooo...now 50 Cent wants to diss Jay Z? it doesn't pay to diss Jay Z? Who's the last dude to effectively diss Jay Z? Game...no. Joe Budden...nope. LL...oh no. Nas...yes...but he later ended up working for Jay Z. That dude is on another level. Period

I always chuckle when I hear sportscasters, when describing a player's injury, that he is "day-to-day". Aint we all day-to-day?

Why do people at work print copies and KNOW when the printer runs out of paper but they wait for YOU to add more paper?

Regina King...Regina King...Regina King

Why do women give out their phone number but don't answer the dude's phone calls???

Oprah is calling it quits? Well, I think she has enough money to retire. She prolly won't need to live off her social security benefits

Just saw the movie 2012. Good movie. It was about the world coming to an end. But why did they have a black president? I chuckled at that.

Scientist say that most boys get most of their intelligence from their mother and not their father. Note to the fellas...don't mess with those dumb chicks. No matter how good they look

Brett Favre...I was wrong

The Jacksons are doing a reality show? *crickets*

Frozen vegetables or canned? I like em in the can

Not sure what this dude ate at breakfast...but it knocked him out!

Sup with people putting their Christmas lights up BEFORE Thanksgiving?

I often wonder why some lesbians go OUT OF THEIR WAY to look like men. Baggy clothes does NOT make you a man.

Wonder how many of y'all will be at those stores at 4am on black friday???

Health care bill...read it

I think...we all get a couple of shots at true love in a lifetime. What do you think?

bling dynasty

Over the years, there have been several dynasties that have ruled the world

Some dynasties have been more popular than others.

But all dynasties must come to an end.

There was one dynasty that recently died...very quietly. Honestly, I wasn't sad to see it die.

The BLING DYNASTY is dead...thanks to this 2 year recession that we've had. I'm glad to see it go. The bling dynasty had a lotta people fooled and confused. People thought that it was here to stay. They were wrong. Too much flossing. I'm not saying that it's not cool to have nice things. I'm not saying that at all. You just have to be more practical about how you spend your money.

Why buy a $50,000 car that you have to park OUTSIDE in your apartment complex? If you spend that much on a car, you should park it INSIDE your house (garage). Why spend that much on a car note when AND rent when you can use that money to own a house?

Why spend a ton of money on clothes? Well...I know that most people shop and buy clothes and feel good while doing it. Most people aren't practical about what they buy. For example, I may be one of Michael Jordan's biggest fans ever. But at age 36 (soon to be 37), why would I spend $200 for a pair of Air Jordans? I don't wear sneakers to work. I only wear sneakers when I go to the gym. And when I go to the gym, I wear a different kind of sneaker. It's the same with jeans. I wear jeans to work but to spend $200 on a pair of jeans that DON'T jump on my legs by themselves...makes no sense. It's just not practical. Can I afford it? Sure I can. But that's not wise spending.

I'm not here to preach to anybody. We just have to be more practical about how and what we spend our money on. I know that there'll be people who'll spend tons of money over the next few weeks on Christmas gifts. Be practical on what you spend money on. Make sure that it has a net tangible benefit. I mean, when you look back at your purchase, you see that you actually gained something in what you bought. Most of us aren't getting a raise at work. Expenses are increasing (has anybody seen how much a box of cereal costs). Incomes are decreasing. It would be asinine to keep spending like you used to do. That makes no sense. Eventually, you're gonna get hit in the pocket.

Remember, the bling dynasty is over.

Good riddance.

laff 101

This is an old video but I crack up EVERY time that I watch it!

You gotta love James...even tho he was drunk.

http://bit.ly/UI3Vq

worldsthinnestbook

Every now and then, I find something funny on Twitter. One day last week, there was a trending topic that I found to be hilarious.

The topic was called #worldsthinnestbook...a sarcastic play on "would-be, short written books."

With hilarious selections like...

Puppy Love by Michael Vick

and

2nd ammendment rights by T.I

I had to join the fray. Here are my creations.

Virgin Chronicles by Madonna

Talent Unlimited by Vanilla Ice

How To Win A Title Without A Star by Phil Jackson

Panty Raid by Tim Tebow and AC Green

Check My Rhyme by Memphis Bleek

Good Hair by Jermaine Jackson

Quiet Storm by Lil John

Straight Talk co authored by Eddie Murphy, Wanda Sykes, and Ellen Degeneres

Keeping Quiet by Joe Wilson

Why I Still Love Bill by Hilary Clinton

Father of the Year by Joe Jackson

My Talent by Souljah Mane and Gucci Boy

Staying Clean by Amy Whitehouse

Mommy Dearest by Brittney Spears

Bulletproof by 50 Cent

Vacation Hideaways by Bin Laden

Safe Sex by Evander Holyfield

Room Service by Kobe Bryant

Marriage Material by Oprah Winfrey

Teen Spirit by RKelly

Thoughts of a Scholar by George W. Bush

Sincere Thoughts by Sarah Palin

How To Catch a Man by Superhead

Let Me Speak to You by Emmitt Smith and Tim Hardaway

Walking Away by Brett Favre

Through My Eyes by Stevie Wonder

This is Why I'm Hot by Khloe Kardashian

I've Got Something to Say by OJ Simpson

The Art of a Deal by Bernie Madoff

The Mack in Me by Flavor Flav

Just Say No by Roger Clemmens

The Value of a Dollar by Adam "Pacman" Jones

16 Bars by Amil

Champion by Patrick Ewing

How I Became a Great Intern by Monica Lewinsky

UnLiKeAbLe

We said that 2009 would be the year of CHANGE.

CHANGE is definitely needed.

I'm proposing a new CHANGE.

One of the great things about hip hop and it's lingo is that is forever changing. I propose that we make a change. A few years, the hip hop world adopted the word HATER. We took the word and ran with it. We could immediately identify a HATER (short for playa hater). There's no need for me to define HATER because we all know what it means. We all know HATERS. Or do we?

I propose that we change the word from HATER to the word UNLIKEABLE.

For example, I heard a female say that she didn't think that Beyonce could sing. People immediately labeled her a HATER. Just because she didn't like Beyonce's vocals? HATER? Not so. To her, Beyonce's vocal's are UNLIKEABLE.

Personally, I don't quite a few things/people. For example, I grew up hating the Dallas Cowboys. I don't know any of them personally. To me, they are UNLIKEABLE. I'm not a Kobe Bryant fan. I'm not a HATER. He's UNLIKEABLE to me. I don't know him personally. From afar, he seems to be very aloof and arrogant. Would I have a drink with him? Nope. I've been labeled a Kobe HATER. Not true. He's just UNLIKEABLE to me.

I'm a Yankees fan. If you're a Red Sox fan, I don't expect you to be happy that we just won a title. You're not a HATER. The Yankees and your view is UNLIKEABLE. And it's ok.

It's the same in your personal life. Ladies...if you don't like your co-workers mini-skirt...don't HATE...just say it's UNLIKEABLE. LOL. Got it?

It's ok NOT to like something. You feel me?

Though some of that shit y'all pop true it, I ain't relating. If I don't like it, I don't like it, that don't mean that I'm hating - Common (6th Sense)

do remember!

Do remember!

Do remember the first time that you heard about him!

Maybe it was when you heard that he was the star quarterback at Bethel High in Hampton, Va who led the team to the state championship as a junior? He was an all state basketball player AND football player. In fact, many people went as far to say that he was better at football than he was at basketball. Maybe you heard that he was involved in an altercation at a bowling alley during his senior year. The fight was between black kids and white kids. During the fight, he allegedly struck a woman in the head with a chair. He, along with 3 of his friends who were also black, were the only ones who were arrested. He served 4 months in jail before being granted clemency by then Virginia Governor Douglas Wilder.

Do remember, Allen Iverson!

Maybe you saw him explode on the college basketball scene at Georgetown University under the legendary coach John Thompson? For two years, he dominated foes on the basketball court. He was the Defensive Player of the Year twice in the Big East Conference and he was Georgetown's all time leader in career scoring average (23 points per game). He led Georgetown to the NCAA Tournament both years. He was the first overall draft pick by the Philadelphia 76ers in the 1996 NBA Draft.

Do remember, Allen Iverson!

Maybe you saw his "killer" crossover dribble? Isolation at the top of the key with the ball in his hands. Standing in front of him was Michael Jordan. The greatest player to ever play the game. He dribbles left...dribbles right. Pause. Dribbles left...dribbles right and causes Jordan to stumble. He fools Jordan and makes him look silly. The move is called an "ankle breaker". To make matters worse, he hits the jump shot in Jordan's face. SWISH. Two points and an instant highlight reel. He was not gonna back down to his basketball idol. He was gonna show him. He did! Peep the video...

http://bit.ly/DOEPW

Do remember, Allen Iverson!

Maybe you saw him win the 1996 NBA Rookie of the Year Award? He out shined the guys other guys from his draft class...(Marcus Camby, Stephon Marbury, Ray Allen, Kobe Bryant, Peja Stojakovic, Steve Nash, and Jermaine O'Neal). He showed up to receive his award dressed in a sweat suit with a doo rag and a baseball cap. He set the NBA on fire with his speed and quickness. He had the uncanny ability to score at will. He was listed as being 6 foot 1 but he's probably closer to 5-10 and 175 pounds soaking wet. Despite being small, he was able to dominate a big mans game.

Do remember, Allen Iverson!

Maybe you saw him with the tattoos and the cornrows? He had a few run-ins with the police. He had more than a few run-ins with his coaches. He had a love/hate...then love again relationship with Sixers head coach Larry Brown. He showed up to the games dressed like a rap star. Baggy jeans, Timberlands, baseball caps, jerseys. You'd never catch him in a suit. You heard him go on a tirade about "practice". You saw him get killed in the media because he didn't play by their rules. You saw him be worshipped by millions of kids who looked up to him. A lot of these kids loved him because he was a poster boy for "keeping it real." Loved. Hated. Very misunderstood.

Do remember, Allen Iverson!

Maybe you saw him lead his 76er team to the NBA Finals? He won scoring titles, made numerous All-Star teams, named All-Star Game MVP. He took a team of scrubs to the NBA Finals only to lose to Shaquille O'Neal and Kobe Bryant. He still averaged 31 points a game, including 48 points in the 1st game victory. He grew and matured before our eyes. He became a father. He became a husband. He became a better teammate. He gave his best every night that he hit the floor

Do remember, Allen Iverson!

Maybe you saw him get traded from Philadelphia to Denver. Then traded from Denver to Detroit. This past summer he signed a contract to play with the woeful Memphis Grizzlies. He wants to keep being the dominant scorer that he used to be. However, Memphis feels the need to develop it's young talent and they would be much better suited with him coming off the bench. He doesn't want to. The team has granted him a "leave to sort out a personal family matter." Word on the street is that he is mulling retirement. Retirement for the dude nicknamed The Answer? No, not BubbaChuck. Is it his time to go? Not sure. No other NBA teams wanted him except one of the worst teams in the league. He's not satisfied with his role as a bench player. Is this the end of the road. If it is, remember what you've seen from him over his career. The good and the bad. Remember how he played the game...as if it was his last.

Do remember, Allen Iverson!

Do remember!

Do remember!

Do remember!

igottastory2tell

It was coming and you could see it

Hell...Stevie Wonder could have seen it.

Vulnerability can easily be sniffed out. Especially by a member of the opposite sex.

On the surface, it appears that Rachel had it all. She was a successful rising attorney. She was a wife (12yrs) and a mother of 4. Her career was blossoming. She had plenty of money in the bank. She was in good health. And she was a pleasure to look at. To say that she was an "eye catcher", it would be an understatement. She was a stunna. But there was something missing. Rachel and Jalen's 12 year marriage was falling apart.

She had grown tired of being treated like a second class citizen by Jalen. Over the past few years, he had become verbally abusive to her. Their loving relationship had turned to a relationship that she could no longer recognize. She wasn't sure when things had gone wrong. Was it the time that Jalen punched her in the face...despite her being 8 months pregnant with their 4th child? Was it the time she found out that he was secretly talking to another woman behind her back? She could never confirm if he was cheating but her heart was broken. Nonetheless, things were different between them.

One day while at work, Rachel was asked to serve on a new government program. She felt honored to do it. The only drawback to being involved with the project is that she'd have to leave New York City and work in Washington, DC for 3 weeks. She didn't think it'd be a problem. She didn't want to be away from her kids but she knew that she needed to be away from Jalen. Her older sister lives in DC and she hadn't seen her in about a year so she looked forward to the trip. When she got to work, she met another team of attorneys. Everybody seemed to be cool. Except one guy. His name was Amir. She didn't know what it was but there was something about him that she DIDN'T like. After a day of working with Amir, she found him to be arrogant and self centered. Amir thought Rachel was cute but he wasn't feeling her at first. He knew that she was married. He wasn't...but he wasn't going to pay her any attention.

One day after work, Amir asked Rachel if she wanted to grab a bite to eat after work. She wanted to say no because they had worked for 15 hrs that day. She just wanted to go back to her hotel and go to sleep. But she needed to eat so she said yes. They went to dinner and saw a different side of Amir. He was charming, caring, and very intelligent. She liked how he hung onto her every word. She liked how he opened the door for her and pulled her chair out for her before they sat down. They had a great conversation over dinner. After dinner, Amir asked Rachel if she would go to a salsa club with him. She immediately said yes because she didn't want the night to end. They danced the night away. She didn't return to her hotel until 3 am. She had a ball. For the next week, she spent every night with Amir. They were really enjoying each other's company. She felt a connection. Amir was so different from her husband. He treated her like a queen. She was feeling him. And he was feeling her. Then...it happened.

They slept together.

It happened just before their work on the new program was over. While they both knew that they were wrong, neither could deny the passion that they shared. They were inseparable after that. Amir, who was already in a relationship, was really into Rachel. They were always together. Even when she left and went back to New York, he would come to New York to see her. And she would come to DC to see him. Their sexual relationship continued. It continued for the next 9 months. Amir had a girlfriend. Rachel knew that. However, he neglected to tell her that she was pregnant. When she found out, she was disappointed but she kept seeing him. They would spend hours on the phone. They would spend weekends together because she would tell her husband that her sister was sick and she needed to go to DC for the weekend. In a way, both Amir and Rachel were committed to each other despite being in committed relationships.

Rachel and Jalen's marriage was falling apart. She decided to come clean and tell him about the affair. When she broke the news, Jalen was devastated. He could not believe that his wife of 12 years was cheating. He was furious. He grabbed her Blackberry and found Amir's phone number. He also found text messages and emails. He called Amir and told him to stay away from his wife. He didn't stop there. He found the name of Amir's girlfriend and eventually found her cell phone number. He called her and told her EVERYTHING that happened. She was devastated. She was 8 months pregnant at the time. She couldn't deal with the stress. She wanted to kick Amir out of their apartment but she couldn't. Amir confessed his love for Rachel to her. Amir had told Rachel that he loved her and wanted to be with her...but he didn't tell his girlfriend that.

Rachel called Amir's girlfriend, Valerie. Valerie told her that she also found that Amir was seeing some other female who lived in Richmond, Va. In a strange twist, Rachel felt betrayed. She had planned to dissolve her marriage and move forward with a future with Amir. She couldn't. She said that Amir wasn't honest with her and she could never trust him. Amir tried hard to show Rachel that he loved her despite the fact that he had a child on the way with Valerie. In Rachel's mind, it was too late. She tried to reconcile with her husband, Jalen. She asked for his forgiveness and tried to show him that his actions led to her infidelity. Too late...

Rachel found out that she was PREGNANT with Amir's baby! She knew that it was Amir's child because she had not slept with Jalen for months. She had to tell Jalen. She could not keep the secret from him. Jalen was furious. He grabbed his 9mm handgun and locked himself in the bathroom. She thought that he was gonna kill himself. The news didn't go over well with Amir when she told him. He asked her to get an abortion. She said that she couldn't. She wouldn't. She was determined to reconcile (if she could) with her husband.

Her husband is not in favor of reconciliation. He has not asked her to terminate the pregnancy nor does he support her efforts in the pregnancy. Amir's girlfriend gave birth to a son. They are still together but she doesn't trust him. Meanwhile, Rachel STILL doesn't know what she wants. She loves her husband and she loves Amir. She's 9 weeks pregnant and she's confused as to what she should do.

She asked me what I thought. All I could do was shake my head and reply..."Maybe you could make this a movie b/c if I didn't know you, I wouldn't believe this story.

this is a true story...the names have been changed to protect the innocent

off tha dome

random thoughts...

People really don't work on Fridays.

Pedro Martinez is still rocking a jheri curl in '09. Maybe he's tryna bring it back?

Gas is back at $2.50. C'mon Prez O!

Speaking of President Obama, if you had to rate his performance on a scale of 1-10...where would you rate him?

If I catch a cold or swine flu within the next 10 days...blame THIS dude! He was coughing all over the place on the train. Peep the pleather (plastic/fake leather) jacket

Guess this is supposed to be hot?

Shout out to my high school, Wilson High in Florence, SC! We celebrated 140 yrs last weekend at our homecoming. It was off the chain. Good seeing old friends.

I even ran into a couple of ex-girlfriends. Haaaaaa

I skipped the BET Hip Hop Awards. I can't give them 2 hrs of my life.

We're at the midway point of the NFL season and my fantasy football team is officially done!

I am befuddled by these teachers who "fall in love" and have relationships with their students. They are kids. Don't you see that?

Where were these teachers when I was in school? LOL

Should the first date end with a kiss?

How many times is SportsCenter gonna remind us that they broadcast from Los Angeles? Who cares?

Speaking of SportsCenter...Memo to Stuart Scott...let it go, man. Stop tryin' to rep for us. You know damn well that black folks don't use words like "crazyfreakynice"! WTH?

THIS dude is too damn big to have a freakin mohawk!

Ladies...how soon can you tell if a guy is runnin' game on you or if he really likes you? A day? Week? Month(s)?

Law Abiding Citizen starring Jamie Foxx is a must see!

How are you gonna say that you don't want your son yelled at when he's on a football field? Everybody will get yelled at on the field? I'm an assitant coach for Kameron's 6 and under team. I don't yell at anybody but Kameron because he's mine. However, if the head coach yells at him...I don't care. It's a part of the game. Are we raising men or chumps?

I actually had a parent ask me...during a game...why her son wasn't playing? Well, he'd probably play if your brought him to practice...

The first time that I heard Busta Rhymes on Scenario...I knew his days with Leaders of the New School was done.

This week's winner of the Lamont Sanford award (BIG DUMMY) is former ESPN analyst Steve Phillips. Steve had an affair with a 22 yr old production assitant at ESPN. She turned crazy when he tried to cut her off. She sent letters to his wife and even befriended one of his son's on Facebook. When the story hit the newspaper, Steve lost his job...his wife...his 4 sons...his house...and probably the shirt off his back.

There is as such thing as TOO much cologne or perfume...trust me.

Word on the street is that Steve is in sex rehab. Do you really need to go to rehab for sleeping with a chick that looks like a linebacker?

Yankees will win in 6. You heard it here first

Riding through my hometown...I ran across this place in East Florence. LMAO!!!

Shout out to my alma mater...South Carolina State University. We have Homecoming this weekend. I won't be there but I'll be there in spirit. Let's get it

One of my favorite female MCs...

Jean Grae...Jean Grae...Jean Grae

ucanfindmeindaclub?

Sometimes it'd be a particular song.

Sometimes it'd be a certain beat.

Sometimes it'd just be the vibe.

There was a time when The Club was where it was at. There was a time for me when the club scene was just electric.

Every city or town has that one club that did it for you. There was a time when I looked forward to going to the club. I remember when I first moved to Atlanta. The vibe was crazy because the hip hop scene here was just beginning to grow. The only person who I knew when I moved here was my roommate/partner in crime, JFresh. We figured that we needed to venture out into the city to see what it was all about. And we did...on a NIGHTLY basis. Two young bachelors with a pocket full of money...that's what we were. And we thourougly enjoyed ourselves.

Even after I got married, I would still hang out at some clubs. I never went there to pick up women. I just enjoyed the scene. The blaring music. Watching dudes spending loot on drinks for women who they couldn't snag. Watching scantly clad women walk around and wonder why they weren't considered "marriage material." There would be times when I would hit the dance floor (yes...I can dance!) and dance by myself. It didn't matter who was around me. I would kinda be in that zone.

My clubbin' was never an issue for my wife. She always knew where I was and I never came home "late." She understood. If you give me some good music and a good DJ...I'm straight! She knew I wasn't out tryna pick up chicks. She knew I was always with JFresh, Clark, or Steve. And I always encouraged her to go out with her friends, too.

Over a period of time, the club stopped giving me that adreanline rush that it used to. Some of my favorite spots in Atlanta closed down. Then, it seemed like the vibe changed.

-Too many corny dudes started showing up. You know...the corny dude that would strategically place his BMW car keys on the bar so that chicks would KNOW what he was driving.

-Too many thugs walkin' round the club with their pants fallin of their ass.

-Too many chicks fighting to get to the VIP section so that they could say that they were up there with Dominique Wilkins or Mike Vick.

-Too many drunk chicks.

-Too many horrible rap songs.

-Too much "snap music."

-Too much mean muggin.

The club scene got real old...really fast. I could never be the dude that spent $20 to get in a joint and stand on the wall. Nope. That's not me. I'm gonna get my money's worth! The club scene aint what it used to be. It changed. Or maybe it was me? Maybe I got grown. Now, I prefer a nice lounge with good music. I don't need the big crowds. I still dance. Now it's just a nice, smooth two step. But I can still break it down when I need to.

Me and the club are separated but we have good memories. Maybe I'm too old (LoL) now. You won't catch me hot and drenched in sweat at a club. That chapter has been closed.
Whut about u? U still clubbin?

8-24-09

8-24-09

I remember that day like it was yesterday

It started with an upset stomach. That rarely happens. Nevertheless, I went on to work despite feelin like shit. Once I got to work, I was immediately met with some drama about something that I had done wrong. Now, I was pissed off AND I didn't feel well. I pressed on...

As the day progressed, my supervisor continued to annoy me about petty stuff. I was completely out of my zone. I called my wife and told her that I was tired of the micromanaging and I was about to cuss this chick out. I left the building for lunch to catch some fresh air. When I came back to the office, I tried to get back into my zone but I couldn't. I felt strange. I didn't know why. For some reason, my stomach was killing me again. I thought to myself...This has been a shitty day. What else could go wrong???

Then it happened. I got a text message at 2:45 from my friend Stacy. It read...

By the time u read this it will be to late. I love all of u.you have been great friends and family. I just cant do this anymore my life is done

Huh? What is Stacy talkin about? That's what I was thinking. I read the text again. Scratched my head for a second. The text message sounded suicidal. I had talked to Stacy 2 weeks prior to getting this text message. Stacy was going through some hard times. Stacy was about to be unemployed. Got fired because of some bs. Not only did Stacy lose the job but Stacy had a several relationships that had gone bad. With huge financial/personal issues, Stacy had decided to send this text message as a last goodbye to family and friends. I couldn't believe it. I have been tight with Stacy since high school. I sat at my desk for a minute...dazed. I stepped away from my desk and called Stacy. No answer. I tried again...no answer. Then I tried again...no answer. I called my wife and told her about the text message. She advised me to call one of my boys who lived near Stacy. At this point, I'm freaking out because I can't reach Stacy.

Hours go by. Still no answer. I finally get Stacy's brother's phone number. My worse fear had been confirmed.

Stacy had attempted suicide.

The news hit me like a ton of bricks. I was numb. Why would Stacy want to leave this earth? Times are hard and I know that. I think that no matter how bad things are you still have to do what you have to do to make things better. Jobs, friends, girlfriends/boyfriends/spouses will all come and go. As long as you have air in your lungs, you're ok. That's the way that I feel.

I spoke with Stacy later that day. I really didn't know what to say. I was hurt. I was pissed off. I was mad. I was confused. Not only did Stacy send that text message to me but to Stacy's siblings and parents. I really didn't say that much to Stacy that day. There was so much that I wanted to say but I couldn't. There are so many issues. Depression is one. Too often (especially in the black community), we never address the issue of depression. We ignore it. Did I ignore it in Stacy? I don't think so. Nevertheless, Stacy is getting help and counseling. I spoke with Stacy last week and it was almost like old times. Lots of laughs and jokes.

I'll be honest. I wasn't even gonna write this post. This happened nearly 2 months ago and I finally had the mindset to put it out there. I try to keep things positive. I've read blogs about stuff and become sad after reading it. That's not the intent here. Far too many times, we ignore the little things in people. The small cries for help. Sometimes we never know until it's too late. It's ok to tell somebody and show somebody that you care. More importantly, it's good to show them that they mean something to somebody. Far too many times we're left with unanswered questions.

I'm just glad that my friend has a second chance...

off tha dome

random thoughts...

Michael Jackson is dead? That's still hard for me to believe...

No parent wants to ever learn that their child is missing. I can't imagine what "ballon boy" parents were thinking. Once they found out that he was ok...they should have whupped his ass!

Brett Favre...I see you. Five and 0, huh? We'll see what happens when you HAVE to throw the ball.

I live in Atlanta and I don't know who the hell Gucci Mane is. I know he's a rapper but I can't name 2 songs that he's made

Sunday nights ain't the same without Entourage

I like Facebook. I love Twitter, tho

If you're on Facebook and you have more than 5 status updates a day...you prolly should be on Twitter.

Shout out to those of you who read this blog...dig it...but never comment. 'Preciate the love. As long as you're reading and feeling the vibe, I'm cool

Separated at birth?

If I could only get him to act like me...*sigh*. LOL

The NBA season is just around the corner...*yawn*

Something doesn't add up about this ballon boy story...

Rush Limbaugh...kick rocks. Do you really think the "image weary NFL" is gonna deal with you. Money talks. Yours doesn't speak loud enough. Beat it clown. Gositchoazzdown

Never get into a relationship with somebody who's "trying to find themselves."

I have no respect for a man who hits a woman. A dude that will hit a woman...won't hit a man.

I'm tired of seeing kids headed to school or coming from school...with NO BOOKS!!!!

Some parents are just sorry. You know that you're sorry. And you're raising a bunch of sorry kids.

Reading is not only fundamental but necessary!

Never go grocery shopping when you're hungry. You'll buy a bunch of stuff that you don't need

I really enjoyed the VH1 Hip Hop Honors. They really know how to put on a show.

I hope the suits at BET watched and took notes...

Speaking of BET, they are giving Mike Vick a reality tv show. I dunno how I feel about that. I hate BET but I guess I'll tune in.

Been a minute since I called somebody a jive turkey. That was big when I was growing up in the 70s. Think I'ma bring it back.

We had a new addition to our family! No...not me and my wife but my cousin gave birth to a son on Monday. Kellen Andrew was 7 pounds, 7 oz. Welcome to the family young fella. Can't wait to see you next week.

I haven't touched my Xbox 360 in months. What is wrong with meeeeeee???

Foxxy Brown? WTH?

Morehouse College has instituted a dress code for its students. No do rags, baseball caps, saggin pants. Shirts and blazers. *standing ovation*

What happened to the DJ in hip hop?

I hate when the time changes. It throws my body clock off

Funny how some of these rappers talk about the money they have but they ain't sellin no records. "We don't believe you...you need more people."

Laila Ali...Laila Ali...Laila Ali